Sadia walked into her room and sighed in relief. No more pretending... She didn't have to pretend to be strong anymore or be tough. She could relax...unless...what if they were hurt? She instantly closed her eyes and checked on all of them briefly. She sighed in relief and took a deep breath.
Being a guardian really put a lot of strain on Sadia - mentally, physically, and emotionally. She might have powers and be a bit more than human, but she was still very human.
Underneath all of her confidence and aggression, she was scared...so scared. And she felt so personally responsible. At some point during her time as a guardian, she saw herself less as having relationships - whether friendship or romantic (coughHayescough) - with the siblings and more of being incredibly guarding and responsible for them and the planet. Somewhere along the line, she lost her view of herself and made it lower than it should be.
She's so scared for herself, but she's even more scared for her family. She lost a part of herself that viewed her life as important. Now, she only feels expendable.
Sadia views herself as loyal, expendable, and unimportant. She loses sleep over making sure they're safe. She's so, so scared...
Because she cares so much and she loves them all so deeply, she couldn't bear to lose them.
In her eyes, she can't show weakness. She can't be kind. She can't relax. She can't let her guard down.
She's exhausted, she's drained, she feels sad over her lost 800 years, she misses when things were more simple, she can't keep this up.
Her shell is beginning to crumble.
Within is a scared, sensitive, loyal girl who views herself too lowly.
