Supernatural Imagines & Preferences ^Completed^

Long Gone (J2M×Reader)

   Based off of the song 'Cecily Smith' by Will Connolly (Flashbacks in bold.) Also, trigger warning for mentions of someone committing suicide and depression so sorry kiddos. This was something that I had to write for myself. I haven't been in the best mindset lately and I just need to get all of my thoughts down on paper, or in this case, a word document. Expect a few more of these over the course of the next few days or weeks. Sorry I'm such a downer - Emma 

   Your laugh filled everyone's ears as Misha told a joke. Misha laughed along as the rest of the cast joined in, tears flowing from your eyes as you couldn't stop laughing. You leaned into Misha's shoulder as he wrapped his arm around you, kissing your head softly as the room grew silent. 

   "(Y/N)'s laugh was better than your shitty joke, you dumbass," Jensen said as a comfortable silence fell over the room once more. You, Jared, Jensen, and Misha were getting ready for your panel, sitting in the green room until Rob, Rich, and Matt wrapped up their hour full of shenanigans. Eventually, it was your turn to go on stage and make fools out of yourselves, and you did just that. Jared, Jensen, and Misha watched you with huge smiles as you laughed and chatted with the crowd.

Misha's POV

   I sighed as I sat down in the church pew. The church was filled with her family and friends and other people that I didn't know that had gotten invited. The church walls were painted a bright white, going along with the colorful stain glass windows, which were depicting different stories in the Bible. Every once in a while someone would come to up me and greet me, ask me how I was doing, and apologizing. I always said 'Thank you' or 'Thanks for coming.' 

   I knew that none of them cared as much as I did. I knew that I was the only truly upset about her death. Jensen and Jared might be a little upset, yeah, but I can't even begin to fathom how I was able to get up this morning without her next to me, or how I was even able to show up here. I'm normally happy, but today was one of the darkest days of my life. Maybe that was how she felt the day she hung that noose on the clothing rack in her closet. 

   It was pouring rain and you guys had to film an outdoor shot. Everyone was too nervous to take the cameras out, which was understandable, but you were in the mood to go outside anyway. You had managed to convince Jared to go out with you so that you weren't lonely. You jumped around in the puddles that formed in the potholes on the street when the rain became heavier. The raindrops were thrown from the sky like daggers, but you kept going.

   "(Y/N), can we go inside? The rain hurts," he said whining like a four year old. You rolled your eyes and stuck out one of your hands. Jared looked at you with confusion in his eyes, to which you just shook your hand at. He reluctantly took it and you smiled. 

   "Let's dance." You spun yourself around while you still held on to your hand. For the first minute or two of your "dance", Jared was stiff and annoyed. Eventually, he relaxed a bit and started moving in perfect sync with you. Your laughs filled the air as your clothes became heavy from the rain and your hair was dripping. 

Jared's POV

   The drive to the funeral was a long and sorrowful one, or at least it felt long. My apartment was a mere 10 minutes away from the church, but it took me forever to even get out of my driveway. I was fighting with myself. I wasn't well enough to go, I knew that, but I had to be there for her. She would want me there. No one had worked since they found her; the show was on hold while the writers wrote her out and the cast and crew mourned. 

   If only she would've talked to me, but it never occurred to me that she would go do something like that. (Y/N) was always happy and smiling and laughing and seeming like she was surviving just fine. I guess she wasn't. Nobody saw it coming. Nobody thought that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) would go as far as hanging herself. 

   Jensen was really mad that day. No one knew why, but everyone knew to stay out of his way unless absolutely necessary. He was a destructive angry person, yelling and hitting and swearing more than a pissed off drunk man. All of your scenes that day were with Jensen. Just your luck. The set was tense because the crew didn't want to make a wrong move and mess up Jensen and his acting. 

   "Dean, I was just-." You stopped as you realized that you had forgotten your line. "I was just, uh, shit. Uh, w-what was I doing?" You looked at Jensen to see if he was mad but he wasn't. He had started to snicker at the thought of you forgetting your line. "What are you laughing at?" 

   "N-nothing. Just you, you, forgot your line. Is today like opposite day? I-I mean, your forgettin' shit and I'm pissed," Jensen said in between laughs. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the script that was sitting out of shot on the floor underneath you. The rest of the day went by in a breeze, you not forgetting anything else and Jensen being happy again. 

Jensen's POV

   The burial was the worst part. Watching her lifeless body being dropped into the ground was something I couldn't believe was happening. Misha had stayed sitting at the church pew when everyone left to watch her get buried. He couldn't handle it. Jared was standing next to me with tears streaming down his face as he looked around at her friends and family, their sorrowful faces burdening his heart. But me, I was numb. I was going to miss her, but I just couldn't find the emotion of it yet. 

   My heart, however, was clenching in my chest. Everyone began to walk away as I stayed and felt the anxious beating in my heart. I didn't know how any of us were going to get through a day of filming without one of her shitty jokes or one of her signature smiles. I had absolutely no idea how life was going to go on without her, and it was scary.  Life was going to go on but not as smoothly as before. (Y/N) was gone, leaving me in an empty hole.