Supernatural Imagines & Preferences ^Completed^

~Sadness (Sam×Reader)

TRIGGER WARNING!! SELF HARM IS MENTIONED SO UM YEAH BE CAREFUL LOVES!!!!!!

Plot: You've fallen back into your old habits after a bad hunt and Sam tries to help you.

The hunt went terribly. You were meant to save people, not let them die in the clutches of a vampire. There were too many for the 3 of you to take on, yet it still hurt. As a hunter, you experienced heartbreak day after day, but this day hurt you the most. A 6 year old girl was now dead thanks to you. She was the same age your sister was when she was killed by demons, along with the rest of your family. It brought back terrible memories and you didn't know what else to do about it then to turn to old habits, self harm. The boys didn't know and if they found out they would NEVER take you out of their sight again.

The boys had run to go get some food and left you at the bunker by yourself. You knew that if you didn't do it now, you wouldn't be able to do it until tonight and you couldn't wait. You sprinted up the steps and went to the bathroom that was beside your room. Hiding your blades was easy because you didn't share your bathroom with anyone. Perks of being a girl in a bunker full of guys. Reaching to the back of the cabinet under the sink, you felt the sharp point graze your skin. You grabbed it then brought it up to your wrist. You made 4 small incisions before you heard Sam yelling for you. You could hear him walking up the steps. Shit. Shit. Shit. You turned on the faucet, washing away the blood.

"Hey (Y/N). Dinner's here when you get hungry," Sam said through the door. You thanked him and continued to wash your arm. You dried off then pulled down the sleeve of your sweatshirt. Walking down the steps, you saw Sam look up at you. Was he smiling? Why was he smiling at me? He pointed to a bag that contained a cheesburger and fries. You wrapped your arm around his shoulders, thanking him once again.

"Hey! I went out and got it too," Dean protested when he didn't get a hug. You chuckled and wrapped your arm around him, thanking him also. He seemed satisfied. You sat cross legged on your chair as you unwrapped the burger and took a huge bite out of it. You're the kind of person that would probably forget about eating if Sam and Dean weren't with you all the time. You hadn't eaten all day because the boys weren't there to remind you and you were seriously regretting it. As the guys talked about a case, you saw blood seeping through the arm of your grey hoodie. You quickly finished eating, telling the boys you had to go to the bathroom. You walked up the steps, trying not to look too suspicious by running.

"(Y/N), why is there blood on the sleeve of your hoodie?" That sentence broke your heart. He knew. Sam knew. Maybe he thought it was there from a hunt or something.

"I-it's blood stained from a hunt we did awhile back," you stuttered as you stopped to face him.

"Looks pretty fresh to me," Dean muffled, providing his input with half a cheeseburger in his mouth. You silently cursed him out in your head as Sam walked up the steps and led you to your room. He demanded you take off the hoodie. You shook your head. You couldn't. You've hurt him so many times and you didn't want to hurt him again. He grabbed the waistband of the hoodie harshly, tugging it over your head.

You had crossed your arms quick enough so that he didn't see the cuts. Sam looked at you and that was when you turned your wrists over the reveal tiny cuts/scars littered up and down both of your arms. He stared in awe as he traced each scar with his fingers. Surprisingly, he hugged you.

"Y-you're n-not mad," you asked as he squeezed you tighter. He let go of you with tears in his eyes. Sam sniffled.

"Why the fucking hell would I be mad? I'm just upset I didn't pick up on it." Pick up on it? "I hear you get up in the middle of the night all the time. I just suspected you couldn't sleep, b-but you do this?" Sam's voiced wavered as he spoke, still feeling the scars. "Show me where it is. I'm not gonna let you do this again."

Now it was your turn to cry. This was your hapiness. Why would he want to take it away? You shook your head.

"I do this to be happy."

"So slowly killing yourself makes you fucking happy?!" Sam was starting to yell and you didn't like when Sam yelled. "(Y/N), show me where that fucking razor is or I'll find it myself."

You took his hand and lead him to the bathroom. You dug around under the sink until you felt that familiar stab. You handed it to him. Sam just stared at it. He hated that this was what hurt you. He slid it in his pocket and then pulled you into another hug.

"If you're ever struggling again, come to me. I'm here for you. I love you."

"I love you, too."
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This was longer than the last one. Hope you guys enjoyed it!!! If you're struggling with self harm or suicide, don't be scared to talk to someone you trust. Hell, even talk to me. I'm here for all of you and I want all of you to feel like you matter!! I love y'all - Emma