Unfiltered // Loki x Reader

Chapter 82 // Mere Puppets

Walking back over to Steve and Bruce, Loki calmly took Abigail and thanked the two of them before returning to your room; where he had layed you on your bed.

"But Loki," You tried to start. "It's okay," He answered, sitting beside you — holding Abigail — as you sat up. You looked at him, as he purposefully kept his gaze towards his daughter.

There was a moment of silence, with you just staring at him. "Does he really still bother you?" You finally asked. "... somewhat." "I've told you not to worry, me, nor Abigail, are leaving you-" "But- that's not it," He started strongly, now calming his tone, "the thought is still there. The small things. We are mere puppets for over a dozen futures..." "Loki-?" "What if," He held Abigail to his face, "You both do leave me?"

While his words stung your heart like a thousand freshly cut wounds, your eyes fell to your bed, shoulders slouched, and you sighed. "Loki, have you still not learnt?" You wondered out loud, "You have always meant the most to me, I have always been by your side and have always wanted to. I still do. Through everything, I told you how much I cared for you, why can you still not see this?" As his eyes became red with tears, he turned to you and lowered Abigail onto his laps, "But what if you change?" "I could never, will never," You looked up to him sadly, "Loki, I did not spend so much time by you, and try to stop you from being hurt, only to leave you." He didn't reply as his face grew sadder. "I love you so, so, much. So why do you have to doubt it like this? I would not have kept her if I knew I didn't love you, I wouldn't have even risked anything for you if I knew I didn't." "I understand," You kept going, eyes falling back down, but to your hands, "That you may be afraid of it, but could you at least have faith in my word?" Your eyes pricked as your throat felt a bit heavy.

"I do think about it too, you know," You admitted, "I think about whether you could find someone better, someone you love more and leave me here-" "I couldn't leave you. There is no one I love more than you, or could even try to. You have always done too much for me, cared about me when no one else did. But I have never done anything, to match that all, for you. What if you finally find someone who can? I will have no one. Frigga is gone, then you would have left with Abigail too." "But you saved me- Loki, I am in debt to you for making my life mean something. If you and Thor had not come to me that day when we were kids, I would not have survived; just another child gone. Thor did other things, but when you reached your hand out to me, and spent time with me, I knew that I always had to be with you to show my appreciation. I didn't know that I was going to love you like I do now, and then have such a beautiful daughter with you. But I have no regrets. I am so glad I stayed with you, I was so afraid. I meant nothing to everyone, compared to you and Thor but I went with you anyway. Other Asgardians always looked down to me, speaking of how unworthy I was to even be in your presence. I hated it," You looked up to him, eyes filled with sitting tears, "But you were worth the pain of putting up with it. I cannot even explain how much joy I feel with just you being alive, Loki, let alone all of this." You looked into his eyes, referring to everything the two of you had built together in terms of your relationship and your daughter.

As much as he felt guilt for making you cry, he couldn't understand how he felt. Was he happy? Glad? Reassured? In disbelief? Shocked? He felt his bags stretch beneath his eyes as he looked into yours, thinking of everything you had just said; letting memories flow through him.

It took moments, after only single tear fell from one of his eyes, for him to reply. "Are you sure?" You nodded a dozen times, tears now falling down your cheeks and you smiled (feeling like an idiot), "I would die just to see you again, Loki, not even death can keep me apart from you. Not after those years Odin kept me from you. Even then, all I thought of was you." "Shouldn't it be me saying that to you?" He smiled as you did, the sadness still radiating from the two of you twisting into something a little more happier. "Just give me this once," You whispered to him, putting your forehead to his shoulder. "Anything," He muttered ever so lightly, curling an arm around you and holding you close while the other kept up Abigail. As she giggled, hitting her own legs, Loki scoffed a laugh and you smiled widely.