Unfiltered // Loki x Reader

Chapter 16 // Drunken Truth

"How about all of us just relax tonight- you too," Stark finished, pointing to Banner at the end. Banner held up his hands slightly, "Okay... okay..." Putting his hands back down, he held them and Stark smiled in approval. "That includes Loki, no hiding or... whatever you do." He looked Loki up and down, with an eyebrow raised; making you shrug slightly.

"So, we all have to be here?" Rogers asked, trying to hurry him up. "Yes. All of us, together, just relaxing. Let's celebrate having time to ourselves for once." Stark said, looking childishly happy. Chuckling silently, Stark turned to you. "Oh, I'm sorry, Y/N. Is that not good enough for you?" Smiling, you shook your head, "Apologies, Stark. It's fine, but you just seem very child-like today." "She's not wrong." Clint shrugged.

Moments later, everyone was sitting around: Natasha, Rogers and Clint on a sofa, Thor, Banner and Stark on another, while yourself and Loki sat on the two-seater. While Thor and Stark were racing to see who could finish their drink first, Banner and Natasha spoke across the room and Rogers, Clint and yourself spoke.

Chuckling, you leant over, towards Loki. "What is wrong? You will not speak." "I have nothing to say," He asnwered, looking down to you. "Nothing at all?" Rogers asked. Loki nodded. "You must have something to say." You told him, now taking a sip of your drink. He shrugged, slightly uncomfortably but pretended not to be. "Well, what about those?" Clint asked, pointing to his shoes, "Where'd you find them?" "I didn't, Y/N did." Clint looked over to you and you nodded. "I thought they would look good on him, and they do, don't they?" You leant forward, looking at Loki's shoes. They nodded.

All four of your heads soon turned to the sudden playing of music. Your eyes were greeted by Stark turning on a radio, you listened to the songs flow through nicely. Everyone laughed at him dancing stupidly to the music.

After a while, Stark had sat back down, and you went to get another drink. Pouring one for yourself, Loki soon followed for a other too. "You've done this before?" He asked; you nodded. "We have had these evenings before, not many, but we have." He took his drink back, after you had filled it for him and you both walked back to your seats.

Now, the effect of the past 7 drinks were getting to you and the others too; even though they hadn't had as many. Thor was being loud, yelling about random things with Stark. You had curled up in your seat, resting your head back against the back pillow and spoke to yourself. Natasha, Clint and Rogers had a drink or two (so they weren't so bad), Banner had none and Loki had almost the same amount as you did - but wasn't really feeling the effect. "Who..." Stark started loud, "Thinks I can finish this?" "Not me!" Thor answered, while you raised a finger weakly. You heard him laugh and start to drink.

Hours had passed, and you had a few more, while no one else did; besides Thor and Stark. "I think we should sleep now, we still have to work tomorrow." Natasha said, rubbing her face, while Banner agreed awkwardly. "What if I am not tired-?" You hiccuped in reply. "I will make sure she sleeps," Loki suddenly said, blinking a dozen times. Rogers took it upon himself and Clint to get Thor and Stark to bed.

Loki pulled you off the sofa, since you weren't getting up, and tried leading you to your room. You complained, making him throw you over his shoulder. You said you felt sick, making him stop by the toilet so you could vomit. He held onto your shoulders as he took you to your room after.

Shutting the door behind you both, he turned on the lamp and tried to tell you to lie down. You told him you didn't want to sleep, hiccuping in the middle, but he refused to let you stay up. "Y/N?" Pouting, after a while of light disagreeing, you hummed in defeat and slowly walked over to your bed.

"You have to sleep too-" You told him. "I will." "No! Here, I don't believe you." You pouted, pulling him into the bed with you. You shook, holding him, as you hiccuped once more. "Y/N-?" Loki's eyes widened and he tensed his body. You kept hold of him, wrapping your arms around him. You mummbled that he was warm against his chest, as you laid the two of you down. You gasped lightly, "The lamp!" You reached over him and turned off the lamp.

You, then, began to speak. Loki's face was flushed, due to embarrassment. He knew you were going to regret this in the morning, but let you carry on - not knowing how you would react if he tried to stop you, since he'd never seen you like this before.

"I remember when we were young, Loki. You had such an innocent spark deep in your eyes." You told him with a sigh. "Do you miss it?" He asked, hesitantly. You hummed, "Slightly..." "What's that supposed mean?" "It means that I do, miss it, a little bit - a very little bit." You explained. "I am just glad that you are with me again. I did worry so much ab-... about you and if I were to ever see you again." "Is that so?" You raised your head, frowning, suddenly crying uncontrollably. "Yes, it is." Just as he was going to ask if you were okay, you spoke.

"You had left me, all by myself again. What was I to do? I was so scared, lonely. I did miss you, I thought you would die before I could see you again." You sniffled, sitting up, as he turned the lamp back on. His head jerked back slightly, in shock, and cupped your cheeks to wipe away your tears. Although there was a huge amount of guilt buried somewhere in his eyes, he still played it off. But, drunk you wasn't exactly good at not mentioning things.

"I see that you feel guilty." You told him, frowning, while looking into his eyes. "What?" You nodded, "I see that you feel guilty for it, right in this moment. I am sorry. Please smile again, Loki, I miss seeing you smile." "Y/N-?" His hands slowly let go of you, overwhelmed by the sudden raw truth. This time, you held his face. "Yes, your smile, even now, is so so pure." Tears still ran down your face, "Will you not smile for me?" Your head hung as you cried for a reason you couldn't remember anymore.

After a short moment, you looked back up and kneeled so your head level was higher than his. You looked down to him, barely being able to see his face. "Why am I thinking of what Thor made me think?" You blinked away remaining tears, from suddenly stopping to cry. "What?" "You can look if you would like." You told him, unaware of what his reaction would be - not really caring in the moment.

Loki pressed his hand against your head, uncertain whether he should and his face flushed deeply as he saw the thought.