Actual random book: part two

Jack and Crutchie vs Delta/Pulitzer/airlines(big incorrect quote)

Jack: My brothers are wonderful though,
I listen to anything my brothers say. I don't mean that they bosses me around, I just listen to everything they say because before I had brothers, I never had someone who was always...standing next to me and just point out obvious things that are happening.
Like, we'll be in a restaurant and one of my brothers will say,

Davey: "you ordered your food an hour ago. It should be here by now."

Jack: and I'm like, "YEAH, IT SHOULD!"
It's like having lawyers for everyday life.
They'll be like,

Race: "The bus driver shouldn't talk to you that way!"

Jack: and I'm like, "NO HE SHOULDN'T!"

-skip to the main part-

Jack: I'll travel with Crutchie sometimes, y'know, and we'll put up with anything. Like, we'll book a ticket on some garbage airline. I don't want to name an actual airline so let's just make one up and call it,'Delta Airlines'.
So, we book a ticket on Delta Airlines, and we'll show up at the airport, and Crutchie will go,

Crutchie: "Can we get on the plane now please?"

Jack: and they go,

Pulitzer: "No! It's delayed NINE hours!"

Jack: and we go,

Jack and Crutchie: "oh-kayyyyy!"

Jack: And then I go to the bathroom.
And when I come out of the bathroom, I ask, "Any updates?" And they go,

Pulitzer: "Yeah, we took off while you were in the bathroom! Because we HATE you! Now take this meal Boucher that doesn't work. Go, Fetch!"

Jack: And Crutchie goes,

Crutchie: "oh-kayyy!"

Jack: And he goes over to the Wolfgang puck express.

~Switch narrations~

Crutchie: and I go, "hey, can I get a sandwich please?" And they go,

Snyder: "NO!"

Crutchie: and I go, "Oh-kayyy!" And they go,

Snyder: "you're a little fat girl, aren't you?"

Crutchie: and I go,"noo..." And they go,

Snyder: "SAY IT!"

Crutchie: "I'm a little fat girl."

~switch narrations~

Jack: And then we go to the delta help desk, which is a oxymoron, and I go,
"Can I please go home on a airplane?" And they go,

Snyder's guards: "No! In fact, we're going to frame you for murder! And you're going to go to jail for thirty years!"

Jack: And Crutchie asked, "why are you doing this to him?!" And they go,

Pulitzer,Snyder, and Snyder's guards, singing: "Because we're delta airlines, and life is a f***ing nightmare!"

Jack: but with my brothers, they'd be like,

Davey: "Let's see if southwest has any flights."

Jack: so it's better.