I allowed the stabbing pain to follow its course. I must suffer first, in order for it to go away. It is written that Elizabeth and I will be together, but I must suffer until that time comes. James won, I lost. But James won only the battle, I will win the war!. I held back the choking sobs. I must deal with this pain, it will strengthen me. I shall overcome it! I am a mighty warrior, and I shall prevail in the end!
I watched the sun go down, the servants came and went, but I was unable to move from the chair I sat on all day. The pain is not getter better, in fact it is even stronger, if that were even possible.
The tray of food set asside for me, was sitting exactly where the servants put it hours ago. I had lost my appetite. I do not need this kind of food, I need food for the soul. The tears came and I didnt even try to stop them. They formed a river and flowed into the ocean.
Mary sent for the healer. What in Gods name can he do for me?
"I will give him to drink a potion that will help him relax and fall into deep sleep." I heard him tell Mary.
"Good, anything is better than nothing." she said.
"Mary this is only temporaily, something to calm him and help him get the rest that he needs, come morning, the pain will still be there." the healer said helplessly.
"It is better than nothing," I heard her say.
I obediently opened my mouth and swallowed the stuff that the healer made for me, wanting desperately any kind of help I can get. The pain is threading its way through my insides, and shredding everything in its way. This remedy the healer gave me might be my only way to survive through the night.
Still sitting in the chair, with my head still hanging down, I heard Mary sigh, and felt her hug me before she and the healer left my room. I could feel the medicine slowly enter my stomach, and taking effect, but not fast enough. I dropped to my knees and the wrenched sobs tore from my throat, as I wailed in pain, death would be easier than this, I thought, disgusted at myself for being so weak!
And that was my last thought before the medicine took over and I passed out on the ground.
AUTHORS NOTE: sigh, I did not write this without feeling sad. ALthough Alexander made many mistakes, he still is a good lover and very loyal to Elizabeth, I cant wait for them to be together again! Please take a moment to vote, very very important. and once again I thank you from the bottom of my heart. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
