Kunlun Mountain Part 4 - The Return

Chapter 41 - A Resolution

Lying against him, her mind churned with all the information he had just given her.  Though her mind was not so much on Shao Wan and Honghui, but their youth.  He had perhaps shared more than he intended to, but that he had opened up to her, was something she should be grateful for, because he had never been so open about his past with her before.

Of course she knew she had never been his first, she always knew this, but she had never once considered who his first had been.  But the way he spoke of his many lovers as if they were nothing more than a means to pleasure, had her seriously wondering how he really felt about her.  

He had also said he had used a lure to capture Shao Wan and though he did not elaborate on what kind of lure he had used, she knew for a fact he had not taken his pleasure with her, that is because, like her, he saw the Disciple relationship as something sacred,  It was one of the reasons why she had not chosen Liang, she loved him too much as a brother, and could never see him as anything else, no matter how beautiful he was to her.

But the lure.  It was this she was focusing on.  Honghui too had used a lure on her, and it wasn't until she met with him again after the Jade Forest battle, that she was made painfully aware that she had been under his spell the entire time.

But Mo Yuan said he also used a lure, one that was so powerful, that the entire world was fooled into believing he had taken that woman, even Honghui had been fooled.

Had she also been fooled? she wondered.  Had he used the lure on her?  

Then there was the women he had had.  He had been her only lover.  The only man outside of her family to see her body.  One that only he had ever known.  And it was for his reason, why she waited for him.  She loved only him, gave herself only to him and waited forty five thousand years for only him. Because she loved him unconditionally.  

She would be lying if she said the thought of him sharing himself with so many others didn't hurt, because it did.  She was jealous and angry that he had even told her.  But how could she raise a very real problem to her, when he was already feeling as if he had betrayed her because of what Qing Cang had done to his body.  She knew she couldn't.  But she also knew it would make intimacy that much harder for both of them unless they talked about it.

Instead she remained quiet, her eyes lifted to the cosmos above them.  It was so beautiful, yet it too had changed.  There were stars that had not been there so their sanctuary had made some progress in its journey towards a destination it had no idea of. 

"What is it?" his soft voice asked.  

He always did have a knack for knowing when she was unsettled,  and unknown to her, the myriad of emotions he could see in her expressions told him they had not done with talking.

Not sure how to broach the subject without it becoming awkward she looked up at him instead.  His eyes could not have been any softer, but for a moment they also felt very far away.

"I have only ever known you...." she said letting the words hang in the air.

A soft sigh escaped him as she drew back from his arms to sit up and face him.  She had also been resting against him for some time, and the way he lightly stretched out his legs had her realizing he had not been comfortable.  So crossing her legs, she pulled him down, so he could rest his head in her lap.  Then pulling the pin from his hair, she watched as it toppled down about her legs.  Smiling at the memory of oiling it every second or third day to keep it looking soft, she marvelled at the sight of him now alive and well and talking to her in a way he had never done.

Looking up at the soft smile, Mo Yuan thought on her words.  He understood what she was referring to and he knew it would upset her,  but he had told her for one specific reason.