(More) Fanfic Reviews

Fanfic Review: Hold On (H.S. AU)

Type Of Story: 1D

Author: stay_away_peasants

Story Rating Estimation: PG-13

Reads: 464

Votes: 69

Comments: 5

Description:

"Do you believe in love?" Everyone will always answer with head nodding or a 'yes'. Apart from her, she just wasn't satisfied by it. But she is the reason why people around her smile. That what he thinks, but he just couldn't stop himself from his biggest mistake of his lifetime.

( Harry Styles AU)

Disclaimer:None of the companies nor University in this book exist. One Direction are not my original idea and are not mine. This book has nothing to do with them in real life.

copyrights reserved to stay_away_peasants

cover credits go to: yoyo_parada

Suggested If: you like Harry AUs

My Review: I like the overall speed and concept of the plot, but I feel like everything jumps around a lot and the chapters in general are pretty choppy. Also, your main character isn't very realistic-she claims to be a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a boyfriend because she doesn't believe in love, yet she gives blowjobs to Zayn and thinks about fucking Harry. Basically, she contradicts herself. I like your chapter lengths and your spelling is okay, but your grammar needs a lot of work. It's sometimes hard to tell who's speaking and some of your word choices need things like "ing" "ed" "s" and "'s" tacked on at the end of them-I also think your sentences can get pretty choppy and abrupt. Overall, this story could definitely have potential, but it needs a lot of editing.

Note to Author: I'm curious, is your first language something other than English?

Rating (1-5): 1.5

Other Note: Edit! Edit! Edit!