[ BTS as your newly wedded husband ]
You: Love, you need to wake up.
Jin: Ugh, not yet!
You: But—
Jin: One more word imma slap you with my pink flip flops!
You: But Jin—
Jin: Love, I'm having a beauty sleep! Don't pester me!
You: JIN, I'M HUNGRY!
Jin: DO YOU WANT A HANDSOME SON OR NOT?! IF YOU DO, THEN STOB TALKING!
--
You: Hun, wake up.
Yoongi: ...
You: Hun, you need to wake up.
Yoongi: *le glares at you*
You: Hun—
Yoongi: Fvck! Go away!
You: But—
Yoongi: Can't you see I'm sleeping with my wife!?
You: But I am your wife and I'm not sleepy anymore!
Yoongi: Well the bed is my wife you aren't!
--
You: Hobi, wakey wakey~
Hobi: OH MY GHAD! THERE'S A SNAKUE?!
You: No Hoseok, don't scream.
Hobi: YOU'RE SO UNFAIR! I LET YOU SCREAM MY NAME LAST NIGHT WHY WOULDN'T YO—
You: Oh my ghad! Shut up! You're embarrassing me!
Hobi: I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO SHUT UP WHEN YOU'RE BEING TOO LOUD LAST NIGHT! *wink wonk*
You: Ugh! I'm outta here!
Hobi: NO DON'T LEAVE ME! I'M SCAREDUE~!
--
You: Baby you need to wake up.
RM: Ahh~ I'm still sleepy!
You: No damn it! It's urgent!
RM: Wae?! Do you want me to hit your p*ssy like you never ever felt before AGAIN?
You: No bullsh*t!
RM: Then what's wrong?
You: It's my hips and our bed!
RM: Huh?!
You: You broke my hips and also our bed last night! TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL AND BUY US NEW BED!
--
You: Babe, you need to wake up.
Jimin: *le groans*
You: Seriously, you need to wake up.
Jimin: Wae~
You: I just want you to wake up!
Jimin: Babe, why are you so moody today? Is it because you're pregnant?
You: Jimin I'm not pregnant.
Jimin: Oh... You're not? Then shall we make you pregnant? *evil smirk*
--
You: Jagi~ wake up.
V: It's too early to wake up.
You: It's afternoon, Taehyung!
V: But I'm still sleepy~ *le pouts*
You: I want to show you something. You'll like it, I promise!
V: Tch. That better be something to do with Gucci or else I will un-wife you!
[ and so later that day, you updated your status as "un-wifed" ]
--
You: Kookie, you need to wake up.
JK: Five more minutes.
You: But Jungkook, I'm bored.
JK: ...
You: IU is going here today.
JK: *le stands up, started cleaning the whole house, cooking food, washing the clothes and dishes... hyped up all day*
You: Jungkook?
JK: So where's IU noona?
You: I was lying.
JK: Oh...
You: Yeah, I— YAH! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?
JK: I'm returning to my mom's womb! Thank you for your time, we're done! Also, don't ever lay your hand on my white shirts again!
Ohhh~~~ so who's your husband?😂
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