Long chapter.
1)
Rowan: I know EXACTLY where I'm going!
Aelin: No you don't. And you don't let me help!
Aedion: FIGHT, FIGHT!
Dorian: *reading a book and mumbles* Play nice guys, I don't want to die!
Lysandra: Dorian, we aren't going to die. Rowan, let Aelin help!
Evangeline: Are we there yet?
Chaol: I can drive for a while, I know where to go.
Nesryn: *kicks Chaol* No you don't. You know it, you just want to drive.
Rowan: I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
Aelin: *smirks* Obviously NOT because you just passed our exit!
Rowan: *growls*
Everyone: *laughter all around*
2)
Queen of Shadows basically:
Aelin: you get stabbed, you get stabbed, you get stabbed, EVERYONE GETS STABBED
Rowan: no no no I don't have feelings at all for aelin wtf are you talking about bad shit do NOT sign me the fuck up, go away feelings
Aedion: MY QUEEEEEEEN
Lysandra: I just want to turn into a woodland animal and live in the wilderness 4ever
Chaol: doriAN DoRiAN DORiaN doriAn DORIan
Manon: I'm a heartless bitch who doesn't have emoti-WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ELIDE
Dorian: my precious cinnamon roll, I can't *cries 4ever*
3)
Queen of Shadows: A Character Guide
Aelin "doesn't wear underwear to an assassination" Galathynius
Aedion "lost puppy" Ashryver
Prince "needs cold water to control a boner" Rowan
Manon "pretends not to care but actually really does" Blackbeak
Kaltain "will fuck you up" Rompier
Dorian "actual God" Havilliard
Chaol "jfc will you please just let him do his job" Westfall
Nesryn "idgaf" Faliq
And my personal favourite:
Lady "the boobs need to go" Lysandra
4)
An EoS Character Summary
Aelin: DO YA NEED SOME ALOE VERA FOR THAT BURN
Rowan: I just gotta *shuddering breath* just gotta bite those earlobes man
Manon: what the FUCK is happening what the FUCK is happening
Dorian: why use these powers for fighting when I can use them for KINKY TIMES
Elide: COME AT ME LORCAN YOU WANNA GO LET'S GO I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS INTO NEXT WEEK-
Lorcan: "I'm not moody," he says moodily.
Aedion: I think I might be sexually attracted to snow leopards.
Lysandra: Hi, my name is Lysandra, GET READY TO BE FUCKED UP YOU SEA C****
Gavriel: noTICE me SON nOTicE mE sOn
Fenrys: *constantly in shock over everything Aelin does*
Maeve: I'd like to order one Aelin in a to-go box, no magic, extra iron chains please.
Erawan: So....is this war still happening....or?
5)
The signs as actual ToG characters:
Aries: Man up Birdface
Taurus: Sriracha
Gemini: Cowtaint Romper
Cancer: Sam Basketball Court
Leo: Aid-yawn Polluted-river
Virgo: Aspirin Birdface
Libra: Doorknob Pavillion
Scorpio: Alien Gaythingest
Sagittarius: Lies Sand Woman
Aquarius: Kale Waterfall
Capricorn: Row ur Boat Whitehorns
Pisces: Neheemeneem yTIGER
This killed me 😂😂
YOU ARE READING
SJM: Post
HumorThe title is self-explanatory. A collection of opinions, rants, jokes, posts, fanart and fan music on the series Throne of Glass and A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. This is uncensored and contains a lot of idiotic humor, which can be...
