The Hobbit Imagines IV

Imagine sassy dad Bard

And today's request came from aprilxoneil;  I couldn't help but wonder, however, if you write Bard imagines? I can imagine him being really sarcastic and sassy so I was wondering if you could write something for him like that?

Sarcastic and sassy? Muhahahahahaha... Yes, yes I can.

This is supposed to be just an annoying dad version, not a mean dad. So please don't take it that way :)

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Children were supposed to be a real joy. His father had told him that right before he got married.

Whether it was a hint to make lots or, now that he thought about it, a sarcastic saying from his old man, Bard wasn't sure. He suspected it was the latter.

"Maybe he likes you but just as a friend?" Tilda offered.

Sigrid looked at her younger sister with a fierce side-way glance. "Fili wouldn't give me a book if he didn't have an interest in courting me. That is not how dwarves work. Right da?"

For what felt like the millionth time in one hour his daughters managed to drag him into the conversation once again. "Of course not dear" he said, focusing on his own work. There were so many requests he still had to think over.

His eldest daughter sighed in frustration. "That is all you've said every time I asked you something today. Are you even paying attention?"

"Of course dear." His papers were yanked away before his eyes. He looked up to meet his daughter' glare. "What is wrong?" he asked confused. 

"You didn't listen to a word I was saying, were you?" she asked.

Bard surpressed a smile. "It's not like I was busy with work when you asked me those questions. How can it possibly be that my attention is not focused on anything but you?" He got up and opened the windows of his new home. "Maybe I should just tell the villagers that I take a day off to help you with your relationship problems. I am sure they won't mind that.

Dale won't be built for another year or two, quite possibly more than that, but that is alright. I say we can take a break from that. EVERYONE! MAY I HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTEN-"

He was silenced by two hands that were rapidly placed over his mouth. "Da! Don't do that! Everyone is going to hear you!" Sigrid pulled her father back and quickly closed the windows. "Why did you do that?"

Bard put up his hands. "You wanted me to listen to you. I can't listen to you when other people demand my attention. So I was going to inform them that your love life is more important than Dale being rebuilt. I feel like I have to repeat myself a lot these days" he said, pretending to think.

Sigrid crossed her arms, pouting. "Clearly the future of your eldest daughter isn't important to you?" she snapped.

"Of course it is, and it would be fair if you got some more attention from me."

A smile appeared on her lips.

"On the other hand, it would also be fair if the villagers didn't have to sleep in the rain."

"Da!"

Bard laughed, trying to hug his struggling daughter. "I am sorry. Please tell me what has you worrying so. You have my undivided attention for as long as you need" he said with a warm voice.

Sigrid looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Promised?"

He nodded. "Promised."

She pulled away from him, shoved a stool his way and started her story all over again. "- and that is why I asked Tilda; Why would he give me a book if he isn't interested?"