Taking Command Book 2 (Kylux)

Chapter 40: Regrets

Kylo PoV

I was happy to see Hux looking well. He had perhaps grown a hair more slender, his hair was brighter, but it all added to the person that Hux was. He stood there, facing me, his ice blue eyes cold, his pale face slightly flushed. Being emperor had not changed his style. He wore a black coat with silver trim draped over his shoulder, and under that he donned his typical military uniform.

"You come all the way back here to tell me I was wrong?" His voice was dangerously low. "You think I am in danger?" He laughed aloud, but it was not a laugh of humor. It was the laugh of a man pushed to the edge. He came closer to me, so that we were almost touching.

Now that I was closer to him, I saw the dark circles under his eyes, how pale he had become. There were more lines on his face than before as well. He had been very worried and upset, and not only that, I could tell he was stressed and about to crack.

"I only want the best for you! You're making a mistake!" I took his gloved hands in my hand.

He wrenched them away fiercely. "You left me. You did not even give me a real goodbye. You disappear for months, then come back with a cryptic message about me being in danger?! Why would I listen to you?!" His face was red and contorted with rage. There were unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." I said softly. He was right. I would not listen to me under these circumstances either. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you so upset. I never wanted that Hux, I promise." I was crying now. I let the tears fall down my face. "But I can't be selfish. I have to put the Galaxy first. I am the last non Sith Force user alive. I have a duty to protect. Which means I can't let you do this."

Hux looked at me, horrified. Then his face hardened. "So that's how it is. I have to do what you say or you'll kill me." He spat on the ground. I could sense a change in him. He had finally discarded his last piece of light, his redeeming, passionate love. "Then do it. I have waited too long for this. Before I met you, I planned to do this. You knew full well what you were getting into, and yet you had the nerve to lead me on, to make me think that you would stay by me to the end?! Then leave. Leave now, and I don't ever want to see your face again. If you return here, I swear that I will kill you." His words were all carefully enunciated and spat out. "I loved you once." He said more softly. "You were the only person I loved more than my work and my ambition. Too bad I don't have any taste." He laughed ruefully, seemingly oblivious to me hearing him.

I could not say anything. I could not deny anything. While misguided, he was telling the truth. I turned around and started to walk back to my ship. I needed to leave, now. My resolve was weakening. There was a part of me that wanted to run back and cling to Hux and remain by his side, but I could not. I had realized my destiny in that moment. I was to be an emissary of the Force, neither on the Dark or the Light Side. I would do my best to guard the galaxy. It was the least I could do for my late relatives.

I left without regrets. That is not to say without pain, however. As I lifted out of Naboo's atmosphere, I felt as if though I had been run through the heart with a knife. This is the price of what I had done. I had done so much evil. It was poetic that this should happen now. I deserved it. I could not turn back. I could not quit moving forward, and this was a big step.