Taking Command Book 2 (Kylux)

Chapter 33: Matters of Importance

Hux PoV

I had meant what I said. While I loved Kylo with all that was in me, if he betrayed me, I would not hesitate to end him. I did not want to think of that happening, but I did not think it would be wise to be unprepared. I mulled in our shared room, pouring a glass of white wine for myself and swirling around the bottom with a small spoon. How I wished for the days of black and white where we were not trying to navigate the plane of loyalty and betrayal on such a gray scale.

But nothing is that simple. I should know that. I should not have been surprised that Kylo was having doubts. In a way, I was surprised that he had not developed them sooner. He had been fighting a battle of loyalty from the start. The tide seemed to have turned in a non useful way. I hoped he would make the right choice, however. I did not think that that was an unreasonable desire at all.

"Please stay." I whispered in the quietness of the empty room. "I don't want you to go."

I stood up. I needed to quit talking to myself and remaining in maudlin, irritable silence. I needed to find Kylo and talk to him personally. Matters like this were not things that should be taken lightly.

"Where is Ren?" I asked a trooper passing by me as I walked out of my room.

"I think I saw him in the training area." The trooper responded before resuming his rounds.

I walked over to the training area where Kylo seemed to have remained after our terse words. He was practicing with his lightsaber, performing skilled acrobatics and swift jabs and blows and imaginary blocks in rapid succession.

I quietly entered and then sat and watched. This was more than practice. It was art, to me. His talent was near unsurpassed by anything I had seen. He moved so quickly his saber was a blur. I envied his talent.

He noticed me after about ten minutes or so, and he came over to me. "Hey." He said breathlessly, wiping the sweat off of his pale face. He was wearing just a black, sleeveless top and pants. His exposed arms were paper white and freckled, and I had never really paid attention to how slim his waist was or the elegant way he was overall shaped.

Not the time, Hux, I thought to myself. "We need to talk. It's a matter of utmost importance."

Kylo smiled sadly at me. "I know what's happening."

"You need to decide, my love. The First Order, or the Resistance. You can't walk in between. You can't have both me and the path of a Jedi. It just won't work out. I don't want to force you into a bad spot, but I also want what's best for the First Order, for the men under me, and for us as well. We can't work together as a good team if you're constantly looking at the past." I looked at him and I could sense the regret and loss in his eyes. I knew in that moment that my heart was going to break with whatever he said.

"I'm sorry then, Hux. I can't stay here. I have to go and find out what I'm truly meant for. Maybe I'm not even meant to be a Jedi, but I can't stay here. Not after what Anakin told me in the snow." He held up a hand, obviously prepared for me to disagree on whether or not it was a hallucination. "I love you, and I always will. But I have to go. We both know that."

I leaned up to him and put my arms around him. "Please don't do this," I begged him, all of my confidence and pride melting away,"please just stay with me. I love you too much. Don't do this to me!"

"I promise I will not do anything to harm you. But I can't do anything more than that, because I do not know what the future holds. The Force hasn't shown me." Kylo cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me gently on the lips, then once on each cheek. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning. You won't see me again."

"No." I breathed out, my heart contracting. This was my fault. I had pushed him too hard. There was so much I wanted to say, but it was trapped inside of me.

"One more night together." Kylo smiled ruefully at me. "Let's make it count."

My heart shattered. And I didn't bother to pick up the pieces. It was all for nothing. I had loved Kylo Ren more than I could have ever imagine myself loving anything. I had handed him everything, and he had just tossed it away.