Don't Judge Me (under extreme EDITING)

Chapter 17

Jeremiah POV

*One week later (Saturday)*

Guess what? I got my girl back. I felt so bad after i said that shit to Zelle. I was in my feelings and i decided to take my anger out on her. Truth is i do need ger, cont nobody do it like her. Ive come to realize that i cant do the things i used to do, i feel like a old as man. I hate feeling helpless, i want to be the one that take care of her not the other way around. I guess i have to get used to this, its better than being dead. Right now me and Zelle on our way to my chemo treatment. I still havent told her about the cancer spreading. I have to tell her before i go into the doctor, id rather her find out from me instead of someone else. Plus she might kick my ass since i kept it from her. Ima tell her before we go in.

We pull in to the parking deck, it wont no spots in the front so we had to park on the 4th floor. Its gone take me forever to get in there, plus my legs hurt like a bitch. But ima just suck it up. I guess Zelle saw the look on my face because she said

Zelle--"Do you need me to drive you up to the front, cause i can it aint a problem. I dont need you to pass out or anything"

Me- I look at her and smile "Nah, baby, i dont want you to walk in by yourself, im good ma."

Zelle-"Jerem-"

Me- I cut her off "Im good baby chill, but look before we go in i got to tell you somethng. But i dont want you to be upset." She just looked at me so i continued "Well um... the cancer kind of spread.."

Zelle- she takes a deep breath and it comes out shaky " spread where?"

Me-"Baby, i-"

Zelle-"Dammit where Jeremiah?"

Me- I look down "My legs" she puts her head on the steering wheel.

Zelle-"Okay what are they gonna do about it?"she says still looking down,

Me-I grab her hand a kiss it repeatedly "They most likely will have to cut off my right leg from the knee down and my whole left leg." She doesnt say anything,the i see her shaking "Baby please dont cry, i didnt want you to get upset thats why i didnt tell you." She sht up, damn i done fucked up.

Zelle-"What you mean thats why i didnt tell you? How long have you known?"

Me-"uhhhh,since i got out the hospital." i mumble. She punches me innthe sideof the head.

I just grab her arms and bring her into my chest. Shes trembling and crying mad hard. I hear her mumble she hates me over and over again. I just shush her and tell her i know. I rest my chin on the top of her head and stroke her hair until she calmed down. She got up and fixed her face and got out the car and came over to my side to help me. I get out slow.My walking has gotten worse, I have a really bad limp and i mmove really slow. I have to hold on to Zelle so i dont fall. Its whatever though at least im walking right? We finally get into the hospital and i have to sit down and take some puffs of my inhaler. I forgot my oxegen machine at home, so im fucked for the day. We go up to the 3rd floor to the lab, The already put the tube iside of my chest, do the doctor just pulls out the cord and conects the two. The liquid starts to flow into my systems and i take a deep breath. 1 hour later the chemo is done and i have to go meet up with my doctor n his office. I try to get up but i cant, the chemo makes me feel so weak. I try again, i lift myself up a little bit and my arms start to shake them they give out. I start to turn red, i can feel myself getting upset. Next thing you kow i break down. This shit is too much i dont know if i can take it anymore. Im starting to think it would be better off if i was dead. La'zelle comes over and just holds me, i feel so imbarassed and vonerale. I pull myself together.

Me-"Can you go get the nurse so they can get a wheel chair." my voice is raspy af

She looks at me and nods. She kisses my forehead and goes to the nurses station. Two guy nurses come back with a wheel chair. They pu me up, i try to stand on my own but my knees buckle and i start to fall to the ground. The catch me and place me into the wheel chair. This is some bull i cant even stand on my own. The nurse wheels me to my doctors office and Zelle follows. We get i there and she looks up and smiles.