OUR SECRET || JAEYONG

Chapter 11 broken heart

This story's title is from now on 'Our secret' because I thought the previous name was too long. I hope you don't mind.

+ also a new cover!

***

"Oh my god, are you really making me say this?" What is he going to tell me? He was looking at the younger expectantly. His face was flushed red and Taeyong didn't think it was from the warm room air. It was freezing here. He was just very nervous.

"I like you-" What? Taeyong couldn't believe what he had just heard. No, this can't be happening. He is my little brother. He must've meant that he liked me as his hyung. He denied everything immediately.

"I like you so much, as more than a friend. I don't even know how or when I started to feel this way about you but it just happened. I only realised it when it was too late. I avoided you so I'd forget my feelings for you but it didn't work..." He was avoiding Taeyong's eyes.

"Jaehyun." He said with a cold voice. Jaehyun wasn't going to look at him. Taeyong didn't know what to say or feel about this. He was scared.

"I don't-" know what to say "I'm...sorry." His voice came out of his mouth partly but he didn't realise it. He wasn't thinking clearly. Jaehyun tensed when he heard his words.

"I know." Jaehyun was so hurt...and heartbroken. What did I just say? Taeyong didn't know what to do in this kind of situation. He had hurt the younger without realising it.

He moved past him without sparing a second glance to him. Jaehyun was now left alone in the toilet. Right after the elder had closed the door his tears fell on his cheeks. He had never before felt so broken. I knew it. Why did I even say anything? Of course he'd reject me. I'm the worst.

What is going to happen from now on? I ruined everything.

***

"What happened? Did you sort it out? Where's Jaehyun hyung?" Mark and Doyoung hadn't been waiting on the other side of the door but after Taeyong had gotten back to his seat he was asked too many questions. He was so confused about everything now.

Or was he? He now knew why Jaehyun had avoided him and ignored him, and kissed him. Everything should be crystal clear. Then why was he so confused? He was unsure about his own feelings. He had never imagined that Jaehyun had feelings for him so he never allowed himself to think him as more than a friend.

"HYUNG! Answer me! Don't just stare into space but answer me." Mark was waving his hand in front of Taeyong when he turned to look at him.

"What?"

"I asked if you sorted things out."

"Yeah, we're good." Lies. He could never tell Mark or anyone what happened even if he wanted to. He turned away from Mark who didn't seem satisfied of his short answer.

"It doesn't look like everything is fine. Where's Jaehyun hyung?"

He hadn't thought about that. He had just left the toilet as fast as possible and only thought about himself. What if...

Jaehyun walked pass him just then. He got a quick look of younger's face. His eyes were slightly red. He had been crying? Taeyong had been panicking then so he didn't think what he was saying to him. He didn't even remember what he had said.

Now when he had seen Jaehyun he felt bad. He had hurt the younger so much. What have I done?

***

Jaehyun was clearly avoiding him. Maybe the other members had noticed it too since he wasn't even trying to hide it. It has been a few days since their talk and Jaehyun hadn't looked at him or said a word to him since then. Around the others he acted like always, being the cheerful and smiling Jaehyun. Whenever Taeyong was near, he became silent or simply walked away.

They were still sleeping in the same room but he hardly he saw the other. Jaehyun came to sleep after midnight and left before he woke up. He knew since he'd pretended to be sleeping. He couldn't sleep.

He had been thinking a lot about Jaehyun and felt so bad. Still he couldn't talk to him. He wanted to say he was sorry for hurting him but he couldn't bring himself to say that. He didn't know what to feel about this situation. What to feel about Jaehyun.

"Taeyong hyung!?" Taeyong snapped out of his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name. He turned to the voice.

"I've been trying to get your attention for who knows how long. What are you thinking? You've been busy thinking so much these days."
It was Mark. He was looking worried. It was late night and they had been watching a movie which had come to an end without Taeyong realising it. Now it was just them in the living room.

"I'm sorry, what were you asking?"

"Are you sure everything is okay between you and Jaehyun? Don't lie to me." Well, I can't tell you the truth either.

"Yes."

"I don't believe you." That's what I was afraid of. I still have to lie even if I didn't want to.

"Okay fine. Everything is not good between us but I'll talk to him soon. It's not your problem so please, don't interfere." Is it okay to say this?

"It is my problem too. You two behaving like this affects the whole group. You're not talking to each other and Jaehyun is clearly avoiding you. I'm sure everyone has already noticed." Wow. Mark can be very scary sometimes. He can make Taeyong feel so small.

"I'm sorry. It's just...I don't know how to fix it." He knew it was a bad idea to talk so much but he couldn't help himself. He needed to talk to someone so bad. He felt like crying.

Mark sighed. "What happened between you two?"

"I..." I can't tell him the whole truth but saying some of it won't hurt anyone. "I hurt him and I don't know how to fix it."

"Really? That's easy. You just go to him and tell him how sorry you are. That's how you fix problems if someone is hurt." Mark looks like he is going to laugh. It's not that easy. You know nothing.

"Yeah sure. It's not that simple but whatever I'm going to sleep. Good night."

He left Mark without waiting his answer. When he got in front of the room door he stopped. He didn't know if Jaehyun was already sleeping. If he is awake...I'll talk to him.

He hesitated a bit but opened the door anyway. Yes, Jaehyun was sleeping. He walked in front of Jaehyun's bed. I hope he doesn't mind if I look at him for a while.

The bed would be wide enough to fit them both in it. Jaehyun was facing his way so it was easier to notice if he was waking up. Taeyong pulled the covers up a little and got himself in the bed with Jaehyun, hoping that he wouldn't wake up.

They were now facing each other on the bed. Taeyong caressed the younger's soft hair gently. He is so beautiful.

Taeyong had only intended to lay there for a few minutes. He never meant fall asleep but after having not enough sleep for awhile, he couldn't help it. He had found peace in Jaehyun's presence.