When We Collide √

Chapter 21

I looked at his blue eyes....they were always the first things that I noticed on his pretty face ...his gaze was taunting me and he was quite close ....closer than I wanted him to be

His gaze pierced through me like the blades of a razor on the maple skin of an adolescent on his first shave ....and I wanted to stare at him the whole day ......then I remembered Kait's words about him ....and I instantly diverted my gaze to my froyo that was now melting

"Why did you stop staring ?" He asked....almost like a whisper...like he wanted me to look at him ...if I wasn't that close to him I wouldn't have probably heard it

And I didn't know how to answer that

"Because I don't want to stare at you and I want to finish my froyo....," I chose to answer

"But I want to stare at you .....," he said still whispering and he was so close to my ear right now I felt my whole body go stiff when his breath fanned my ear

I felt a sudden pressure press me down.....the walls were closing in on me ....he was so close .....so close.....a sudden darkness engulfed me I felt my heart thump within me I couldn't feel my body .....I was having a panic attack

I started breathing heavily ...I was struggling to breathe.... It's as if the air suddenly became limited ...like I was using an oxygen tank and someone had suddenly pulled the tubes connecting to my nose .....everything suddenly went blur and the last thing I heard was Kaitleen shouting something about Amell getting of my side and people gasping and before I knew it I was sprinting out of the parlour I don't even think I was seeing where I was going

I hit someone and their froyo fell down ...."Jerk,"I heard him say ....that's what I've always been ...ever since this claustrophobia began ....causing havoc each time I had an attack

I finally pushed open the door and was soon out ....out of the questioning gazes of people....out... away from the negative shit people said whenever I did something stupid cause of my condition ....away from Amell....finally away from him

I tried to catch my breath I leaned on the wall outside the parlour bent down and holding onto my knees....then I heard someone coming outside

I began running .....running to the only place I knew was safe for me ....the only place I could be different and feel good about it...because there was a boulder there that was different from the others and seemed quite comforting ...I'd always clearly see the moon and see how different it was and feel good about myself

"Tracy......wait ...I'm sorry that happened ," I heard Kaitleen's voice and turned behind to find her ,Marcus and a concerned looking Amell staring at me

Maybe it wasn't concern I saw....he was probably frightened by my animalistic behaviour

I just hope she didn't tell them why I'd acted that way..... Otherwise I'd rip that hair out of her head

I didn't want anyone knowing about my claustrophobia..... that often led to the question on how I got it in the first place and then ended up with me crying or if I trust the person well enough.... telling them the reason behind it

I chose to walk there just to ease my nerves and cool down my panic attack..... It took quite some time to cool down ......after around ten minutes of jogging I stopped when I arrived at the school gate .....it was open ...some students usually came for tutorials on weekends at the tuition centre

I just hoped that nobody would notice me.... at that moment I wished that I'd carried my grey hoodie with me

After pausing for a short moment in order to catch my breath .....I slowly pushed the school gate and walked in ........