TMR/TBS Imagines

Newt // Misunderstanding (Pt.2)

* I was just having a bad day when I wrote this so there is a warning at the end for self harm. Don't read if it might trigger you! *

I haven't had a real conversation with any one here since the thing with newt and Teresa five weeks ago. I wake up in a hammock Alby graciously gave me, eat there, run alone in the maze, eat in my hammock again, and go back to sleep. A system that no one has dared break.

I could see the boys looking at me. I could see the sympathy as well as the judgmental looks they're giving me, but I ignored them to the best of my ability. I told Teresa seven simple words the day afterwards and left it at that: 'you didn't do it to hurt me'. I hadn't spoken to Newt at all.

I would answer of course when Minho or Thomas asked me about the maze or answer Alby's question always with 'I'm fine'. I never told anyone anything other than that. I didn't need to. I didn't want to. I felt so empty and alone but I also liked it. I didn't have to fulfill anyone's expectations of me. I did my work and then I disappeared without another thought. It was fine.

I was coming back from grabbing food after giving my 'thank you' nod to Fry, when I looked over at Newt for a split second. When I did, I happened to not look where I was going. A second later, my face hit a tree hard.

I stumbled back with my hand over my face. I could feel the blood trickle from it and it throbbed as well. Quickly, hands were on my waist to spin me around. I was fool for thinking for a spilt second Newt was the one to help me. It was Gally.

"Hey (Y/N). Let me take you to the medjacks," he said shaking me a little. The pain in my nose made my eyes water so I couldn't really make anything out except what was right in front of me.

I began laughing- something I hadn't done in weeks. He looked frightened for a second. "My nose probably looks like yours."

"It's not nice to make fun of my potato nose," he laughed too and took the tray from my hand. "Really though. Sit down."

He helps guide me to the table beside us and put my food back in front of me. We talked for a while. It felt unbelievably nice to speak to someone about something other than the maze. I felt like myself again.

Newt's POV

I couldn't feel any worse than I do right now. When Teresa said someone liked me, I assumed she meant herself so I decided to lean in. Then she freaked out saying it wasn't her who liked me after seconds of kissing. I didn't know (Y/N) liked me or else I wouldn't have kissed Teresa, but she was giving me mixed signals when she kissed back.

(Y/N) hadn't spoken to any of us in weeks and I knew it was my fault. Well half my fault but regardless, mine. I didn't want to hurt. I never knew it would hurt her. She's such an amazing girl and I never wanted her in pain especially when it was my fault.

Everyone assures me it isn't my fault but (Y/N) just being a hormonal girl but that only makes me yell at them about making boys a little hesitant to talk to me. I ruined a lot of things by kissing Teresa.

Teresa's cried to me for hours saying (Y/N) won't forgive her. She's also explained how (Y/N) liked me. How she used to try to impress me, how she was worried she didn't look as beautiful as Teresa and how she talked about me. Now she hasn't spoken at all.

I was sitting at dinner with Minho and Ben talking about mindless things but my eyes were on (Y/N). She had her head low and was walking with her food to her hammock like she did every day now. She suddenly looked back at me before colliding into a tree.

I jumped up and went to help her but Gally quickly whoever himself in front of me. He turned to me and growled, "you've done enough."

He ran over to her and helped her with her bloody nose. She then began laughing. Oh my god, she was laughing! No one had even seen her smile in weeks!

She mumbled something to Gally making him laugh too. Her led her the table and sat across from her. They began talking together with smiles occasionally. She looked... normal again.

I couldn't help but feel angry as I watched Gally make her feel happy again. I messed it up so I should be making her feel good again. I know what this sounds like, I'm jealous.

I think now I know how I'm feeling towards her. I miss talking to her everyday. I miss seeing her talking to people. I miss talking to her. I miss her. I like her. I like her very much and it hurts that I found that out now. But I'm gonna do whatever I can to make this up to her and tell her how I feel.

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(Y/N)'s POV

I had changed in the last week. I've come out of my shell and allowed more boys back into my life. I'm eating with Gally instead of alone in my hammock. I'm running with Thomas and Minho again and we're talking! Like actually having a conversation.

Newt's tried talking to me. It hurts but I do it. I can't shut him out because he found out about my crush. I'm hoping eventually I can get over him so there won't be any hesitation when I talk to him. He doesn't seem to talk to Teresa anymore though. Everything seems upside down and it's my fault.

It was now the middle of the night when I heard soft whimpers come from the woods beside me. I climbed out of my hammock and slipped my shoes on. I followed the sound of the crying until I saw the outline of a person sitting against a tree. I heard sniffles before stepping closer to them.

"Hey. I can't see who you are but you shouldn't be crying. Are you okay?" I asked unsure of my own voice.

"(Y/N)! I-I'm fine," it was Newt who was stuttered on the ground. He seemed shocked and nervous that it was me.

"Newt, what's wrong?" As I adjusted to the light from the lantern he had, I found the small knife next to his leg. He had lines across his arm with red dripping. "No, no, no, no, no, Newt." I had tears in my eyes as i ran to his side.

He pulled his arm towards his chest to hide it. He had it now wrapped in a ripped strip of red cloth died from the blood.

"Newt don't hide them. They match mine," I whispered the last bit which made his eyes widen. He took my wrist and pulled it to his face. I took his hand and softly pecked kisses over them. He didn't flinch once.

"You did these...?"

"Yesterday. Newt, why did you do this?" He looked ashamed with tear filled face. I was crying now as I finished kissing his arm.

"I hurt you. I'm worthless and a shuckup for hurting you. Plus knowing that, I know you'll never love me again. I ruined any chance I had of being with you," he cried harder. I grabbed him and hugged him as tight as I could.

"I love you. I love you and I haven't stopped. You hurt me but it wasn't your fault really. You're not worthless. Do you know that before any of my melodramatic drama you were the only thing that made me truly happy. Did you know that you're the only one who could make me smile as wide as I did? Did you know I think about you every second of every day? Did you know I'm unbelievably in love with you for everything that you are?" He sniffled and looked up at me. He looked about as broken as I felt.

"Was this because of me?" He hiccuped and shook my wrist lightly.

"Part of it. Look, Newt I messed up by blaming you but you can't hurt yourself because of it. I know I sound like a hypocrite for telling you this while I have bloody arms too but I can't lose you. I can't know that you hurt your self like this because of me. I can hurt myself but I can't hurt you." He pulled my cheeks until our foreheads were touching.

"This place is horrible. The maze is horrible. The glade is horrible. But you're the most perfect thing I have ever seen. You're the world to me and I need you to see that. That even though I pushed you away, you're my everything."

"You really love me? Truly still love me?" I nodded as tears rolled down my cheeks. "Can I kiss you?" I nodded again. He pulled my cheek until our lips met. The kiss was perfectly imperfect. We had snot running down our noses and dry lips but it was magical, as if the rest of the world faded away that second.

After a minute of light kisses, I pulled away for air. He had stopped crying and put his hands on both my cheeks.

"I do love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I'm sorry I kissed Teresa. I'm sorry I let you leave me," he whispered with a croaked voice.

"I forgive you because I love you."

"Does this-this mean you'll be my girlfriend?" I nodded with a smile which brought a large grin to his face. "You will? Thank you." He cheerfully pulled me onto his lap for another deep kiss.

"I will never hurt you ever again. I'll never let you go either. I love you so much. More than I could ever express." I kissed his lips before burying my face in his neck.

"Just don't let me go and I'll be happy. I love you." We were broken and dangerous for each other but that might be just what we need to stay alive here.