The Rant Book

The Door

bonjour folks! (alright it's like 6 oclock in the evening for me rn so technically not good morning)

anyways so despite my *extremely* weird title i felt the need to rant about this today because truth is, rather then binge-eating, destroying things, screaming or any other bad habits of any sorts, I would rather "healthily" get my emotions out.

now shall we?

so i live with my mom and my brother and as sometimes my mom would joke, based off of the peter rabbit song: "we're a happy family" (lol happy family my ASS)

anyways so of course, we all have disagreements, especially with our family. And ESPECIALLY with our parents. Because you want to be treated like an adult sometimes, but they're still treating you like a kid. Or sometimes they're putting too many expectations that you simply can't take it. There's always gonna be the times where someone's rubbing the other up the wrong way.

now i'm not gonna lie: my mom and I have a good relationship. okay HAD. i mean, every girl goes to her mom for the girl advice, which of course includes (and is never limited to), friends, drama, school, friends, boys, periods, life.... (idk i only talk about like two of these things with my mom lol)

so of course every healthy relationship is always going to run into problems/disagreements. but the only problem is is that with my mom it's not just a couple or a handful. it's EVERYTHING. and there's barely a day that goes by that she doesn't scream at me about god-knows-what. (the only reason i say that is because i've started to tune her out- but that usually gets her even more pissed off so idk)

now i get it: she's a single, full-time working mom who's juggling work, other organizations, and kids. plus, she got me and brother full time only about 2 or 3 years ago, and of course it's when I finally am hitting one of the toughest roads of my life. and that's my teenage years.

so of course, i'm gonna be slightly crazy (well i am but whatever) and of course she's gonna attempt to deal with me. but the way things have been going since gr. 9....idk if i can take anymore.

now everyone is probably still wondering about the title and let me explain it to you (mainly because it's the reason i wrote my rant today)

so when i used to be with my dad I used to always shut my bedroom door. i wanted my privacy because i had his girlfriend who would go through my stuff (i kid you not when i say this: she seriously went through my belongings), and there was a rabbit that if I didn't shut the door on, would chew up any paper it could find (and of course, precede to poop there as well). so it became a natural habit of mine to shut the door.

and this habit has stayed with me. and it wasn't until recently that my mom had enough of my closed door (there were other factors that led into this hissyfit as well). my mother went on about how I was "a guest in the house" because I "never did anything" and "would just stay in my room" and on and on and on (and to answer anyones question: yes, i did tune out after a bit because i had heard this soap opera countless times before- even from my grandmother)

so of course once she had done her speech, she then threatened to take off my door and warned me, "don't be surprised if you come back tomorrow from your friends, and your doors gone".

and of course, she constantly asks if my door is open, even when she's at work! and i'm like ??. truth is, it's a habit of mine, and it's also annoying as hell, especially because my brother does the exact same thing and yet he'll get away with it.

and today, when she was out, i closed the door, because i didn't want my brother annoying me. however, because I had my headphones in, I didn't hear her come in through the front door, and so, she stormed into my room, giving me a heart attack and of course this led to more threatening and me just about ready to strangle her.

at the end of the day, i want my door in place, and the truth is, i get where she's coming from about some stuff. but then again, does it even matter sometimes? idk anymore

anyways have a good weekend everyone!