i try to not eat as much as i want because i'm scared to gain weight and have my chest get larger. today i only ate supper. i admitted this to my mother after her asking what i ate today and all she said was "that isn't enough. you can't just snack." that was it. she didn't get upset or anything. she didn't know that i went through a couple months at school where i hardly ate a thing at lunch, and even less for breakfast. that i lost six pounds during that time. (i'm 104 now and want to lose the other four) but like, it's not healthy!!!!!! i know good and well that it isn't. i had a week that i felt such pain in my torso that i started to make myself eat a little more. i just feel so insecure, you know? i don't like when i wear a gross feminine bathing suit or a form-fitting shirt and see breasts there, and a little hint of fat in my stomach. nothing that anyone else would worry over. everyone always says they wish they were as thin as me. but i don't feel thin enough. the extra bit of fat drives me CRAZY. my chest drives me CRAZY. my cursed body drives me CRAZY. and not eating was my way of trying to fix myself. and my mother never even noticed. i said i wasn't very hungry each morning, and just ate a fistful of cereal. she never asked if i ate my sandwiches, so i never said that i didn't. she was happily oblivious. i had given her the benefit of the doubt.
(I just told this to a new friend and decided to share)
YOU ARE READING
Get Out Of My Swamp!!! (Random Book)
RandomThe book of bad life choices. I swear this actually will become serious. Sorry if you were looking for dank memes. I'm going through a less than fantastic time, and I rant a lot. Trigger warnings, mentions of suicidal thoughts, etc.
