Get Out Of My Swamp!!! (Random Book)

rant

sorry but like if you're against lgbtq+ get the fucc off my account cause all i do here is talk about how i'm trans and like girls and such, so yeah. also i'm cussing a lot in this cuz i'm continually getting more and more pissed off as i continues to write. also, purposely lowercase cuz it's my aesthetic. also, as you read in the title, this is a rant

okay so there was this big thing where everybody was getting hecka triggered just because a trans girl was using the bathroom that fit her gender identity. i wanted to kill some b!tches and i don't even know this chick. it's just like, in this community we're all one group of siblings. we've gotta help each other out. i just get so afraid to speak up for myself and other members of the community because i'm only out to a few friends i know are chill with it. if i stick up for us, if i ask to go by alex, if i tell that little asshat in my study hall to shut the fucc up, then people might get the hint. bro i just want to be myself. i don't know why it's such a big deal to everyone. i'm a guy, and i want to look like one, because i am one, yanno? i mean some guys want to look like girls but still identify as guys and that's chill that's just not how i am. and i really should've known earlier. but i didn't. if i did i wouldn't have had anyone to tell. as you know my parents are HeCkA homophobic and really against the whole community. makes me sick, the way my mum talks. like we're some kind of fucking disease

we're human, we're not any different from you. and this goes for any kind of prejudice. we're all human. Galatians 3:28 says: there is no jew or greek, there is no slave or free, there is no male or female, all are one in Jesus Christ... so don't go blaming the Bible on your prejudice because the Bible is hecka supportive of us 'freaks', mum! you say to read the Bible, and here we are. i found this and i love it. maybe you need to read the Bible too.

anyway, i don't understand the hate. mum makes it seem like all lgbtq individuals are atheists or satanists and I'm like, oof. am i not allowed to believe in your god anymore because i'm a guy? my beliefs are weird tbh. i believe in god and heaven and such, but i also believe souls can choose to be reborn, if that makes any sense. i believe in Christianity but also past lives...it's weird. i know it is. and i know my mum would try to change my views but you're allowed religious freedom at age ten, in case you lovely people didn't know. at least that's what i've been told, i dunno if that's actually the right age. maybe you guys should google it because knowing me, i'm probably wrong.

okay so i don't think people think, hey, what if that was me getting harassed for something i can not change about myself? what bothers me is that my mum always defends people outside the community that have a problem they can't change. but she supports our suffering, basically. she's a part of our suffering, like so many other trans kids' parents. but also, there are so many others whose parents are totally chill and it's kind of discouraging for us closet buds because we're stuck. it's like, oof, why aren't my parents that chill?

seriously though i kind of want to just chop my hair off one day just to get it off. i've wanted rid of my long ass hair for a while so i'm just itching to cut it. mum would never let me get it how i want it. not in this world. so i've been debating taking matters into my own hands. however, mum has already threatened switching schools last year after she snuck and found pride stuff on my tablet. it didn't happen. if it did i would just find ways to piss her off even more. like, come out to the whole school, refuse to wear girls' clothes, etc, and just let her deal with it. i envy the heteros because they don't have this stress. i mean, plenty of them have different stresses, but i just want rid of this stress, being anxious all the time. losing focus when a friend talks to me because i'm too lost in thought. constantly being asked what's wrong.

i seriously just want to run off somewhere away from my mum. i love her but at the same time i just.......can't.