TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 45 | Things

I paused for a moment realizing that it was actually him, I wasn't dreaming about this. I should've known he would reach out to me, but I was so used to him being isolated that I wasn't expecting to hear from him. Although I wasn't complaining, it's been a while since I actually heard his voice, remembering that I didn't hear from him since before he got me out of the house. I relaxed for a second, turning on my back and sitting up in the bed. He seemed to know I needed a second for myself, I felt an odd sense of vulnerability creeping on me as I listened to the sounds of him breathing.

I didn't want to share this kind of emotion over the phone with him, especially since I was now engaged and shouldn't be this intimate with another man. But Zayn somehow always brought something out of me that I couldn't accept, but this was quite easier than facing him alone. Although I felt a little sad this was my first actually being away from him and out of the house, I was lost in my mind with mixed emotions that I couldn't trust right now.

"Zayn.." I whispered closing my eyes shut when my voice became thicker, I pushed my hair back as I adjusted in the bed. "Where are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine, that's all you need to know." He answered softly, for once not making it a thing of teasing me or finding some way to be angry for being worried. "I know you're confused on a lot of topics, but it's better for certain things to stay in the dark for your safety."

I found myself laughing at that statement because everyone was telling me the same thing but somehow each time I was always placed in a dangerous situation, I wasn't blaming Zayn for them because I brought all of this onto myself. I just felt like I needed some closure behind it all and people were keeping secrets, secrets that I was more than capable of handling.

"I am confused." I agreed. "I'm confused on so much shit and it's not fair to me at all, you know if that was true then most of these things wouldn't be happening around me. I only wanna know because I need to know what all of this has to do with me, why am I the one being hurt for things beyond my control?" I asked no on in general, feeling the tears fall down my face as I sobbed. "This isn't right, Zayn. Not at all and you know it."

He didn't say anything for a while just allowing me to cry on the phone to him about my frustrations with everything, after twenty minutes it all seemed to die down calmly. I wanted to ask if he was still on the phone but stopped once I heard him sigh to himself but answering someone on his end of the phone in another language quietly.

"I'm sorry- do you feel better?"

Although he couldn't see me I nodded my head as I relaxed for the main part, feeling a bit more relief than I did earlier. The sleep and crying all helping me to at least get last night events off my chest for awhile but not off my mind, I needed a permanent escape away from everything.

"As much as a person could be after getting questioned by McCain, I guess." I scoffed into the phone at his tone, finding it amusing now that he was being just as vulnerable to me as I was to him.