TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 10 | Locked Down

Ah, life....

It brings me back to just a few days ago when I was typing the meaning of life to me on my computer, I had such a normal life. It was something I was used too, my normality and my comfort zone.

It was the thing people found boring, but I found safe. It was so pleasing to me that I knew I was in control of my own life, that I could plan every aspect and follow through with it.

I mean there were a few detours along the way, if I wanted to miss a day of work or became sick. Those were the things I found controllable if I stuck a very strict mind.

If only I could have typed that on my paper instead of some bullshit psychology answer, people wanted to hear the truth. No one wanted a answer beat around the bush, someone wanted real. And I just wish I was able to give that...

You ever know the phrase, you mess with a dog and it's bite you then it's the dogs fault, but if you go back around that same dog and it bites you again then it's your fault? Man, what I would give if I could have learned that before this situation...

Remember a few days ago when I told you about me waking up in a strange place?

Ha, now you've seen how it led up to this moment. And yes, this is one of those freeze frame, 'hey look at me in a fucked up situation' scenarios in those extremely cliche movies. I got mines from ratatouille, the Disney movie about rats with feelings who wanted to cook?

Don't judge me, I am an adult who continues watching children's television because I am still not grown in the fact I wanna watch the news all the time. That was for my co-workers, I hated knowing  about the dangers lurking in the streets of where I lived...

But just my damn luck, I am caught in the middle and somehow my best friend may or may not be involved along with my boyfriend and some guy I watched have sex, my life was like a soap opera. Cue, the days of our lives theme song or general hospital...

I shook away that thought, before trying to adjust to the darkness in the room. I was aware of what happened the night before, it's just wondering where I am now is scary...

I don't find myself in a ton of danger, but if you experienced what I've been through then you'd be anxious as well. I could feel it radiate through my body, it was so strong that you could see it coming off of me in pure daylight.

Not that I would have anything to worry about, I was still in the damn dark and couldn't see... 

I wiped at the wet tears, leaning back against the bed as it bounced me gently. I didn't have much energy to get up and search for a way out. My head felt too heavy at the moment to do anything, I reached down and rubbing at the wrapped arm.

Someone placed me here and obviously Taylor wasn't going to let me sleep without having someone aid me first. I sighed, rolling onto my back. Everything was so confusing, I was alienated from everything.