TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 13|Freedom

"The rain pounded on the wooden house, letting my mind drift among the surface as I laid there in the darkness. It was overwhelming when everything flashed in my head, I could just see everything playback and each stabbing a deeper wound in my soul. I've worn so many emotional scars that it wasn't the same, I could barely react the way I used too. My mother, my darling mother would turn in her grave at the thought of my wrong doings, yet I sat there in full distraught as I think of the times I wouldn't see myself being this thing.

I was colder, darker, the light in my eyes not foundering as sun danced among them, you could see the color. But was the happiness there? Other people would only suggest that I was tired, but was that really the case?

No one cared enough to figure out the truth, I was in a dark room shivering as the heat refused to settle. It was gone, nothing ever became joyous.

What I once found joy in small things, seemed so dead to me and no one really cared. I was alone, I could feel my lungs fill up as I finally went underneath the chilling liquid.

I'm sorry, My heart bleeds out as I cry out in despair. Please forgive me, I wish you would just understand this lifestyle that wasn't chosen for me. I'm sorry.

I choked out as the liquid fill my lungs, I kicked and scratched. I didn't want to be let up, my body just reacted against my never ending nerves that would soon be demolished.

Bubbles vegans forming around the top of the liquid as I screamed out, reaching up and holding onto the tub as my heart slowed with each aching stab.

It was coming.

I love you Khalesia, I know there won't be a place next to you once I leave. It's not the same, the place I'm going will be somewhere that were made for people like me.

I'm not meant for this life, neither were you. You were too pure, so elegant with the way you walked gracefully. That will always be my last memory of you, smiling bright and teeth whiter than clouds laid upon heaven. Your hair was beautiful and would fall the perfect way over your shoulder, it was magical.

I'll never forget that dress, oh god that beautiful dress. The perky flowers that was full of life and bright just like you, the sunflowers beaming as they were sprawled over them as the skirt hung. The thick strap crossing your back, God you didn't have any flaws.

I'll miss you so much, please don't ever be mad at me. I don't ever regret meeting you, it was something that needed to happen. Baby, I needed you, I needed to know of a life that could involve someone pure, to love a peasant like me.