365 Days (Part 1) | ✓

124. Fireworks

124. Fireworks: Do they inspire you or do you not like the noise and commotion? Write about it.

There has only ever been one time that fireworks were special to me, and that instance happened almost a year ago.

It had been an exhausting day of fun with my friends and there were two things that were quickly becoming apparent: 1) I was falling in love with a boy; and 2) a boy was falling in love with me. And they were two different people too, so you can see my dilemma here.

To be clear: Boys are my friends. I grew up with a bunch of brothers and there weren't many girls in my neighborhood, so I ended up always playing with them. But by no means was I a tomboy. Oh no, I was impressed most unwillingly into their games. You know of that game Monkey in the Middle, where two people throw a ball back and forth over the head of someone else ("the monkey") who is trying desperately to catch it? I was the monkey.

But give me a bedazzler and boy, I would have rhinestoned the heck out of every sportsy item they had.

Daniel (name changed to protect his pride) is a friend of mine. I've known him since I was a sophomore, so at the time of this story, I knew him for a little over two years. He's more of a borderline acquaintance, but the few times we have talked, we've gotten along really well. Usually we stick to basics: how are you, what are you up to, stuff like that. Safe, right?

I think it started over video games. He mentioned wanting to learn to play the ocarina, because of a game, and me (being the massive Legend of Zelda fan that I am), immediately said, "Ocarina of Time!" That launched us into that subject, which for true Zelda fans is nigh on inexhaustible. I think I impressed him with my knowledge of this video game and others. Apparently that's an accomplishment.

Over time, I noticed Dan was getting more, er, into me. He would stand really close when we talked, and I saw him watching me from across the room. There were things he said and did that were... odd. Not something I was used to from a boy.

Don't get me wrong, Dan is one of the nicest boys I know, and I tried to pass his behavior off as just him being friendly, but by early June, I couldn't. I read up on how to tell if a guy has a crush on you, and he did every single one of the things, except for act mean to me.

I was worried.

So this night, in early June. Fireworks. Friends, and two guys.

Dan had been following me around all day. He had paid attention to me, had done everything he could to help me, had complimented me. He had done everything I would have loved for my crush to do. And I did my best to discourage him in a kind way, trying to impress in his mind that we were friends, but without ever mentioning it. Because, see, I know about heartbreak. And it killed me to do it to him.

At the end of the day, we saw a fireworks shower.

I purposefully sat by my crush, and then Dan came up and asked, "Mind if I sit by you?"

"Sure," I said, and had to endure both boys on either side.

As was getting to be a habit with Dan, he began to ask me deep questions about myself. At one point, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I laughed nervously and waves the question off, glancing at the boy on my other side.

Then he goes, "I've been meaning to ask you something."

THIS sounded suspicious, so I began to pretend to be utterly fascinated with the fireworks exploding in the night sky (although to be honest, I do not care for them at all). I whooped and hollared, marveled, went "ooh!" with my crush. But next to me Dan was trying to get my attention.

I felt bad for him, but I also was panicking and hoping my crush didn't get the wrong idea about me and Daniel.

Eventually he gave up and watched the rest of the fireworks show in silence. I didn't speak a word to my crush... I was all awkwarded out by then.