Bully to Bully

Distractions

I jogged down into a walk when I realised that running isn't the best idea in the world. My lungs suck and so does my sense of direction. I was lost and breathless and I had no idea why I acted so dramatically. I looked to my right where an alley split two shops apart from each other and I walked over to the corner of one shop. I fell against the wall, banging my head sharpy, and slid down it- landing in a lanky mess. I bent my knees exhaustedly into a crossed position and put my elbows on my knees as I tried to catch my breath.

It wasn't the biggest deal in the world, seeing Louis, and it wasn't like he was attacking me anyway. To be honest, he looked more scared than I did. I had no idea why I ran out like that, it's really not like me and I've left Ed all alone too. At least I had my phone on me, I thought. It wasn't like I was completely lost, like I could call Ed at any time and he could direct me back to him or I could direct him to me. But I wanted to gather my head first.

I knew it would be awkward to see Louis again, after storming out of the house and then him telling me to stay away. But it had been too stressful to think about so I pushed it to the back of my head and carried on with whatever else I could use as a distraction. That only seemed to come round and slap me in the head though because when the time came around, I had nothing to say and nothing to do. Thanks karma.

So I suppose now was the time to think. Now was the time to talk to the virtual Louis in my head who says the right things and listens the right way and would never even dream of hurting me. I guess that's why we always argue, because I always prepare to speak to someone who is the complete opposite of Louis.

But virtual Louis would appologise and then I would be too awkward to say thank you and too scared to say that I wanted to move out but he would notice that. And instead of going absolutely mental, he'd put on a film and we'd just cuddle up and sleep.

He'd do what I like best, find a distraction. Yes distractions don't make problems go away and the problem probably grows bigger in the meantime but it helps. It helps with the initial pain. I'm not the one to face pain straight on, I like to wait and see if it's done yet.

So in the Hunger Games for example, I would find a tree and hide and sleep and hide. Wait for them all to kill each other and then the last one can die from infection. Hooray! Harry Styles is the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games. Harry Styles: The Boy on Fear, coming soon to a cinema near you.

Yeah, yeah joking aside- this time I can't find a distraction because this time the problem just appeared straight on and this time it's not going to go away. I think that might be because this time, I share a bed with the problem.

Ok, so what will the real Louis do? If he's in a nice mood, and when I say nice- he's feeling sorry for himself, then he'll keep on apologising to the point where it gets annoying and he's saying sorry so many times that he can't even hear what I have to say.

Then if he's mad or frustrated or isn't getting what he wants- violence. There's no other way to put it and there's no need for explanation. That's all it is. Violence, abuse, intimidation whatever you want to call it- there's no other answer for him in that situation.

So you can see why I like to find a distraction, facing Louis isn't the most desirable thing in the world. I looked down at my phone that was resting in my lap as my knees slightly bounced against the cold and I wondered whether or not it was time to call Ed yet because I obvioulsy couldn't plan what to say to Louis. I didn't reach out for my phone only because I didn't have the energy.

Liam and Louis had probably left the shop by now anyway and all I did was run forward so it wouldn't be that hard to trace my steps back to Ed anyway without bothering him. I decided that that would be the best option to go for but I still didn't want to move.