Bruh I was fighting a spider on the wall and it lunged at me so I quickly jumped back and tripped over my dad's elliptical. I legit did a backflip over it and landed heard first on OUR CEMENT BASEMENT FLOOR
AND I LIVED
LIKE
I AM COMPLETELY UNINJURED
NOT A SCRATCH
If I had fallen a little to the right my head would have split open on the metal part of the elliptical. Had a fallen any harder I could have cracked my skull.
If my flip hadn't been perfect I would have snapped my neck. If I hadn't lifted my legs up in time I would have broken them.
The ways that that could have gone life threateningly wrong completely outweighs the ways I could have survived that.
Yet, some fucking how, by some stroke of luck, I am alive and not only that, but completely unharmed (except my head is a little sore)
I just
Am shooketh
My guardian angel or some shit took pity in my failure to kill a spider and let me live somehow.
I have decided not to kill the spider because I'm superstitious like that
Also I have no idea where the hell the spider went
