XXXX SAM X READER XXXX
Warnings: Self-harm, talk of depression, other than that fluff
You were in your motel room taking a shower, the boys had gotten ones that conjoined. You had one room and they had the other. You didn't seem to mind this considering it was a rough week for you. It was the anniversary of your sisters death. She had died on a hunt and you still dreaded this week every year. You missed her, she was like your other half and she happened to have a small fling with Dean Winchester. You both at one point had claims, she got Dean and you got Sam. However you knew Sam could never like a girl like you. You struggled with anxiety and depression, yet you were still a badass hunter. You were able to save your issues for behind closed doors. You sigh happily and continue your shower. The water felt good on your body.. after cleaning up and washing your hair you finally shut the water off. You figured the boys were out getting food so you just dried off with the towel and pulled on your bra and panties. You threw your hair up in the towel to dry and then decided to walk out into your room like this. You didn't expect to find Sam Winchester sitting in your room when you walked out. You let out a scream and Sam's eyes flew to you. He gasped and you pulled the towel from your hair.
"Sam what the hell!" You squeak.
"D-Dean said you needed to talk to me." Sam stumbles over his words.
"Oh I'm gonna kick his ass." You huff. Sam's eyes were on your upper thigh. You didn't realize you hadn't managed to cover your scars. Feeling uncomfortable you find your bag and pull on one of your long t-shirts.
"I'm so sorry (y/n)." Sam stutters.
"Just get out, come back later when I can regain..." you mumble off. Sam is up and out of the chair going through the door. You slide to the floor and rock back and forth. You weren't use to anyone seeing you naked. You hardly believed what he saw was beautiful.
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"So Sammy, how'd it go?" Dean smirks.
"I don't want to talk about it." He snaps sitting down. Dean's eyes widen and he frowns.
"What.. did you two finally admit your feelings?" Dean asks.
"Stop." Sam growls.
"Okay touchy subject." Dean chuckles. Sam gives him the bitchface and then grabs his laptop. The two sit in silence and Dean decides to go get food. He knocks on your door and you tell him what you want. Dean leaves and when he does you finally open the door a little.
"Sammy?" You say soft. His eyes snap over to you. His expression softens and you blush a little. "Wanna come over to my room?" He shuts his laptop and gets up off of the chair. You wait for him and he steps closer you move so he can walk over to your room. You pull the door closed and then wander over to your bed. You pat a spot on the bed and he comes to sit by you.
"Look I- I'm so sorry about earlier... D-Dean never mentioned you were in the shower."
"S'Okay Sammy. You just caught me off guard I didn't mean to flip.." You say quietly. Sam looks down at you and that's when he catches sight of the blood.
"(Y/N), you're bleeding." Sam frowns reaching forward. You can't stop the tears this time. Sam is taken back for a second and then he pulls you into his arms. "Shh, its okay I've got you."
"I'm so sorry..." You sob.
"Why are you sorry?" Sam says soft.
"Its my fault shes dead.. it should be me." You sniffle. Sam pulls you closer.
"That is not your fault sweetheart, things happen okay?" Sam says his voice gentle.
"I can't do it anymore Sammy.. I.. I wanted to end the pain this time.. I really did." You mumble into his shoulder. Sam kisses the top of your head and holds you the entire time you cry. When you are done you realize how soaked his shirt is with tears. "I'm sorry.." you sniffle.
"Hey, you never need to apologize to me." Sam says tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers brush your face in a soft manner. Your eyes close and Sam takes the opportunity to kiss you. Its a brief kiss but you find yourself pulling him closer again. Sam deepens the kiss a little and before long you are both breaking away for air. Sam then does the sweetest thing ever. He gets up and finds a rag and some bandages. He cleans up your newest wounds and wraps it up gently. He pauses and kisses your old scars causing your eyes to water. "Promise me something please?"
"Y-Yes.." you mumble.
"If you ever feel the need to hurt yourself, come to me. Come talk to me, don't ever hesitate. I don't want to lose you knowing I could have helped you in some way. (y/N) you are worth it. I love you and I don't want to lose you ever." Sam says soft. Your eyes water and you sniffle some more.
"Will you stay in here with me tonight Sammy.. its the anniversary.. I'm scared to sleep alone." you whisper dropping your head into your hands. Sam takes both of your hands and puts a finger under your chin.
"Don't be ashamed beautiful, I will always stay if that's what you need." Sam says smiling.
"I love you Sam.. you're the best really." You smile a little. Sam pulls you into his arms again and kisses your forehead.
"Close your eyes sweetheart, I'm always going to be here for you." Sam says rubbing in circle motions on your back with his hand. Your eyes slip and before long he feels your body relax.
