To the guy I'm planning to leave behind
"To the guy I'm planning to leave behind
First of all I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry for leaving you during your darkest days, I just can't stand watching you ruining your life. I can't stand still seeing how miserable your life gets. I tried to understand you, yes I did! But I just can't understand why you keep on doing things I hate the most.
I hate seeing you now, the person you'd become. Some might Say you dont deserve me for leaving you behind, but they don't know the whole story for them to judge me easily.
I talked to you. We've talked about how fuck your life is and how you can't handle your problems. I was there to wipe your tears, to cheer you up and to keep on reminding you that after every storm comes a rainbow, just keep on battling.
I manage to compose myself. I didn't let myself be angry at you, I swallowed my pride for the reason that I don't wanna be on the list of the things that makes you sp depress.
But I can't stand it. I cant stand watching the guys I used to love ruining his life, I can't vaguely remember the time we both be happy. I cant remember the last time you've kissed me passionately. It's just fade away, with just a snap I can't remember our best memories.
All I can remember was the shouting, slamming of doors, sobbing! And I can't handle this anymore. I can't be with you when I know Iam not whole. I can't be with you, because I can't be strong infrong of you all I do is tear down as if I'm the one holding the burden.
If I wanted to be with you, I need to be enormous to pick you up when you needed a hand to. If I wanted to be with you, I need to hide my pain just to ensure you'll feeling okay. If I wanted to be with you, I need to bring you back to what you used to. But I can't, I just can't because you wont let me.
I'm sorry If I have to do this when I promise that I'll love you even more during your darkest hours. But I didn't thought about losing you while I'm trying to fix us. What I meant by you, is yourself I had love.
I still love you but I can't stand seeing you like a piece of shit. Maybe if I let you go, you'll realize something. Maybe if I let you go, I'll lessen what you're carrying.
This may be the end when I you promise there will no be. We just need to grow apart."
Elle
2010
IARFA
FEU Manila
