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Mark: I think Danielle is aware that something is wrong.
Jesse: She pretended she wrote Ellie's song. She has to know that something's wrong. [looks at Mark's full plate of food] Are you done?
Mark: No!
Jesse: [looks like a sad puppy]
Steve: Are you talking about Alzheimer's disease?
Mark: Yeah, it could be. It seems like the early stages of it. Big mood swings. And the other day at the beach, she appeared to go back to another time and place.
Jesse: [reaches for Steve's food] I'm just gonna have a little bit of that.
Steve: [slaps Jesse's hand away] Stop that.
Jesse: [looks like a sad puppy again]
Mark: Ya know, if you didn't eat so fast, you wouldn't be so hungry.
Steve: If she imagined being followed downtown and chased in New York, would that be consistent with Alzheimer's?
Mark: It could be. It could also be transient ischemic attacks. A series of small, temporary strokes.
Jesse: She should be evaluated for that. Have you spoken to her?
Mark: Yeah, I tried to. I asked her a few simple questions trying to test her short-term memory and I guess she thought I was patronizing her because she just left the room.
Jesse: [looks at Mark's food with begging eyes]
Mark: Look, I was gonna save this 'till later, but you go ahead and eat it.
Jesse: No, it's fine. I don't want it.
Mark: No, please. Take it.
Jesse: If you're not gonna eat it, ya know, someone should. Hold that one. [hands Mark his sandwich and takes the other sandwich, eating a bite]
Jesse: [points to the salt shaker and speaks with a full mouth] It needs some salt.
Steve: On a bacon and anchovie sandwich?
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Hilarious dialogue taken from Diagnosis Murder featuring Charlie Schlatter as Jesse Travis, Dick Van Dyke as Mark Sloan, and Barry Van Dyke as Steve Sloan.
