The Randomness of Rainbow Phoenix II: Confessions of a One-Legged Violinist

Artistic License

One of the most annoying, aggravating arguments I ever had was with someone who loved my writing.

I was online, comfortably coasting around a fanon wikia whilst the group chat was open, talking to a few of my buddies. I had recently begun writing a short little fic on there, and I hadn't updated it in a few days.

Now, I was cheerfully wasting my time doing nothing and having a pleasant conversation when I got a PM from one of the members of the chat. I opened it and there was the person asking me if I could update my fic.

As I am wont to do, I responded with "No, because I don't have any ideas for it right now and also I'm busy chatting and mindlessly staring at a computer screen."

This is where the argument began.

It went on for a few minutes- the person saying I was selfishly not updating and me smugly shaking my head in disdains but it eventually ended. However, during it the person said one thing: that Tui T. Sutherland never would refuse to write like this.

And I'd like to back up a little.

Its hard for people who don't write to understand, but there are a few distinct stages to writing a book:

Stage One: Holy crap, I just got the best idea ever! I'm gonna go make covers and look up a soundtrack and write like three whole chapters! This is the best!

Stage Two: Aw, man, I started his story and I haven't worked on it. I'll either try to work on it or I won't, and just continue watching stupid videos on YouTube.

Stage Three: oh my god, this goddamn story has lived with me for months now, I just want to get it off my fucking back, here, have a bunch of updates until it's done and I feel achieved and go back to my room and play Pokémon for seven hours.

And repeat.

I can promise you that every single professional author goes through this or a slightly altered version of this cycle. We are deeply creative, deeply sensitive people. And we need time to recharge.

For example, the way I recharge is by putting off all of my daily chores and homework until there's a deadline right in my face, at which point I jump up and scream Holy shit!! I didn't even see that there and now its gonna bite me in the ass, better go do everything I've been procrastinating for the past three days so I don't spend two hours in detention again!! (this is a thing that has happened to me. It was boring.)

Anyway, another thing I'd like to comment on is comparing me to a published author.

People.

I am not a published author.

They write because that is how they pay their bills. I am not paying for anything, except for some posters and books I bought at this nerdy store down the street. My welfare does not rely on me updating my books. It relies on my parents, because I am a minor and also because I lack the concentration and effort to take care of myself in a meaningful way.

And overall, I am an artist.

I'm good at doing nothing. I am the master of doing nothing. And that is how I work.