The Randomness of Rainbow Phoenix II: Confessions of a One-Legged Violinist

warning: slight depression ahead

I think I might have become a bit depressed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not self-harming or anything like that. But recently, life seems just... Pointless.

I think it might have been the fact that my body keeps breaking, paired with where I live, which is as boring as hell. I've been reminded oh so very forcefully how incredibly mortal I am, and with that reminder comes the fact that life is going to end. So why should it even happen in the first place?

I've been skirting around this issue for a while now, but last night for some damn reason I was thinking of the most painless way to kill myself. I wouldn't have gone through with it, no, never, but I was calmly and rationally thinking through suicide. I don't know why. But it scares me.

I'll be getting physiotherapy soon, and we're moving to Cambridge (!!!), so hopefully soon things'll be looking up, but until then please excuse the lack of updates. I simply don't have the motivation in any way to write. (Well, maybe a couple Davekat oneshots, hehe). But, erm, yeah. I thought I should let you all know.