You pulled into your drive way of your home. You took a moment just to cry hard & just scream & let it all out. It's just a mix of emotions going through your head right now. So much anxiety. All you keep thinking in your mind right now is "I'm really no longer his girlfriend. " it kept replaying constantly in your mind. It wouldn't stop until you came to peace that this is what it is now.
But now after your tears of pain and sadness came laughter. It's kinda funny to you how you did a well deserving Oscar award performance back there. You really did hold it together back there. It's also funny that you are happy you overheard his plan because this little moment right here would not even be happening right now.
3 Months Later
Life has been so chaotic. The whole world knows & has been loosing it's shit ever since knowing but then again when has the world ever had its shit together. That is the better question.
You really didn't think that it would get this far. You thought that Harry would be coming back to you right now. But Harry has only been a random presences.
You find it hard to explain. Harry has been constantly checking on you. He calls it making sure that you are always safe & unbothered. He keeps saying that it's still his job because he's the one that made my life the way it is. At the time when he said that to you it made you go off on him. He sounded like a narcissistic asshole the way he said it. You both didn't talk to each other for a week. But Harry being annoying & not letting go of you, both of you apologized and made up.
If the fighting between the both of you weren't interesting enough things now have become even more chaotic with David in the mix of it now. David is a well respected friend of both you & Harry. However you & David have known each other way longer before Harry & you were together.
One day You just looked up & saw how David was just there for you when You needed someone the most. The moment when everyone found out it was so much confusion until someone took it upon themselves just to create a story. Some one came up with some type of truth to say it was you that broke up with Harry. But to make matters worse was Harry going along with that truth. Which is why you both had a small falling out. But David has been there for you behind the lights & media & press. He just been keeping you encouraged.
David is brilliant, not smart but brilliant. He's the CEO of his own company. He owns a bunch of hotel businesses. He's two years older than you, & he's very handsome. But David hasn't made any pass on you. But you don't put out the thought of both you can David could be good for one another someday maybe. You think maybe he's just waiting when the time is right.
Harry does know about David spending more quality time with you. He found out by crystal's big mouth. You wanted to continue the friendship with Crystal which is one of a few close friends to Harry. But quiet as its kept between even Crystal & yourself you really fell out with her silently. It's ever since that night you felt like you couldn't trust her. If she was a friend to you she would have not sat their & felt bad for you, she would have talked sense into Harry in your defense but technically speaking you have no right to expect that of her. You just know you can't trust her with anything.
It was a cool Friday night that you decided to just keep to yourself. Since the break up everyone has been trying to get you out of the house. You know people are starting to worry about you but honestly you are just taking your time. You really want all of this to die down. You want people to even forget who you are. Just right now it's not..........ugh Harry is the monster is calling right now.
"What do you want Harry?"
"Hello to you too darling"
"Excuse my manners. You were interrupting me"
"Interrupting something, oh, well what I have to say is important, I need to meet with you in person to talk"
"Really?"
"Yes, I'm coming to you soon, 2 days from today. So can you please be available to me. I just need a moment with you. That's all I'm asking"
"Ok"
"Thank you"
It was a pregnant silence. We didn't know what more else to say to each other.
"I've got to get going but I'll text you when I know for sure what time we can meet up & when I'm in town....I'll talk to you soon"
"Ok bye"
He's here. You figured the best place where you both can have privacy to talk was somewhere neutral. Bevey Lantern is one place where you & Harry could enjoy a private dinner. It was your favorite place to get Chinese, the food is very fresh.
You walked in and you found him at the usual table. You walked over to him. He caught your gaze. For a moment when you walked over to him this place triggered memories of the moment he decided to end things, but the good times where both of us would sneak off in the middle of the night to sit in here to eat. One night you had a nightmare & you woke Harry. He thought that if we both had fresh air that it would take away your nightmare & it did.
"Hey"
"Hey"
"Good to see you"
"Good to see you too. Did you see order yet?...sorry I hit some traffic on the way over here"
"It ok I ordered you lemon with water just a moment ago, Chen will be back with it "
"Thanks, let's order"
"Ok"
You both ordered & received your drinks.
"So welcome back to your home away from home"
"Thanks" Harry chuckled "feels good to be back. I'm happy to see you, it's been to long"
"Yeah, it has"
Then we ordered. Time to get down to business of why we are meeting.
"I wanted to see you. I just wanted to make sure you are alright"
"I am, it's not like we didn't stop talking since that night"
"Because it's a lot going on.& we been together to long to pretend like nothing happened & nothing is happening. We never had a conversation about our positions"
This was breaking up all over again.
"I don't think I ever had a moment to think about that. To me it just seems easier to pretend it was all a nightmare. & now my eyes are open"
"I'm am really sorry"
"To be honest the only position that I can play right now for you is ex girlfriend. I have nothing left for you. But I can't even be that because we just keep doing this, we are in this circle of confusion. I don't want that"
"That's why we are here. We need to say everything we need to say."
"What more do you expect?"
"Hey I'm not trying to upset you"
"I'm not upset" you said and then the silence fell like a brick between us. You were looking at him & him at you.
"I want you to know you aren't the only one who was hurt in this too."
"I didn't wake up that morning not in love"
"I didn't wake up this morning not in love either,
I didn't leave tour not in love either"
"You're climbing up the wrong tree right now. You didn't come here about love.
You came to just see me, you wanted to know if you saw me to answer one question. So you see me, you have your answers. What more do you want?"
"I was hoping we can be on the same page. I was hoping we can talk about the future.
I wanted to tell you how I'm always going to have your back"
"You haven't lately"
"I haven't been stern I know.
But now I do. I just been afraid. But now I'm not."
"Why were you?"
"Cause it would finally be real for me........that's not
Something I'm ready to accept yet....that's the truth."
"I'm so confused"
"Can you honestly believe the words, we are no longer together, it would be three years in August. We made plans.....& somehow,
Some way for whatever
I've walked away from it all. But you were always there."
You couldn't help tear up. But for some reason whatever is left of your broken heart. It froze.
"Quite disappointing isn't. I had high hopes & dreams,. But one question remains now. When can we let this be real?"
"The truth is I'm a mess right now. Back then this wasn't it. But now it is. Honestly my mind still isn't in the right place of where I hope it would be. Life as I know it is changing so fast. Not having you , you in that equation, I never thought I'd give you up. Never....I still don't know how to deal. I'm not in place of where I expected to be, where I want to be,. I wish we were still together, I wish I could ask you to give me time to fix myself & fix all of the mess I tried keeping you out of. But I can't because that would be selfish of me"
"Well......maybe we need to really not contact each other for awhile. "
"Don't"
"I don't know what more to to do. "
"Well I want to know something"
"I just want to know if I can earn back trust. If it does, please don't let me go"
"If we are meant to be, then we will know"
(Ok)
(Ok)
