I have quite a few interesting thoughts floating around in the weird and wonderful corners of my head. Nothing philosophical, all of them just random stuff. This book will probably get weird. Very quickly.
Updated often. I like writing this and I do...
I've sort of disappeared from Wattpad, which I didn't want to do.
Writing just isn't fun for me anymore. I go to update, but the pressure of what people will think after not updating for months is crushing. It's a chore, a burden, a fear. All I want is to finish my old WIPs - the worldbuilding guide (really finished and edited), The Irish Emporium, Katie and the Unicorn Quest.
I'm sick of these. They've been sitting around, and I want to forget about them. Historical fiction just isn't my thing, I like to be creative. The guide needs so much editing done, and someone has also requested a chapter that will take a long time. Katie had so much potential, but I burned myself out in the novella challenge.
But my other WIPs - The Good Healer, Magic Can Take You Places (I want to change the title to something snappier), and other vague ideas I have inside my head - I care about them. They have so much creative potential, I care about the characters more (I don't hate the others, but these newer characters have more personality) and I'm just generally more excited about them.
I'm a way I've given up on my dreams of being an author. I never thought I would say that, it's been a dream for years, but I don't think I'm fit for the cutthroat world of publishing. I started writing on Wattpad for fun, but over time it became more about working towards getting published - harsh reviews, editing, etc. But all the advice about plot points and characters arcs and grammar and editing and everything was too much.
I wrote as a way to escape. But then I focused on being the best and pleasing others, instead of doing it as a fun hobby. That's also how I stopped coding. I have over 800 followers on the app I used. Hundreds of hours of learning and answering questions until I hit a brick wall. I made so many friends. In a way I want to start that profile over and re-learn everything, but I would lose my codes and my friends.
On a more positive note:
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Your girl likes girls! And guys, and non-binary pals, and basically everyone.
I'm beauty, I'm grace, I'm super pan and ace :D
I'm still demiromantic and asexual, but with added panromantic-ness as well :)
This summer has been wild, and not always in a good way. I'm making a lot of decisions about my future at the moment, but disappearing from my friends here was not a good way to cope. I can't make any promises about the future, but whatever happens, I can say that this summer has been a time of growth for me, despite being difficult, and I've learned a lot about myself and the world around me.
I'm hoping the last third of 2019 will be far better than the first two thirds. Here's to autumn, the end of a difficult summer, and a new chapter of life!
