communistbakery: it’s fun to stay at the
cyberfricking: y
literally-morgan: M
kanrose: much of the ocean is still unexplored
ahmylegs: A
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
fruitappreciation: omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
assiendo: take me to art museums and make out with me
cornputer: but they said not to touch the masterpieces
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
methlaboratories: MONKEYS in the ARCTIC?! whats next, vampires on the weekend?!
cocaine-and-insulin: but imagine if they were dragons
links-scarf: you punks are all so daft
ascendtogodtier: looks like there’s a fall out, boys
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
litulpulp: citizen: it's a bird!
citizen: it's a plane!
*superman flies down with kryptonite between his teeth*
superman: it's a metaphor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
unshaped: [A/N: Gif on the side] filling a bathtub with the substance, throwing the person you hate the most in the tub and throwing the ice cube in the tub right after …. it would be over
dazedwinter: Nah, don’t just throw it in you gotta flick it dramatically over your shoulder without looking as you walk away, preferably with a darkly humorous one-liner.
itsfrenchthellama: "The cold never bothered me anyway"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thats-slightly-raven: I underreact in serious situations and then overreact in really simple circumstances like once I set my eyebrow on fire and I was just like ‘oh dear’ and then the other day I couldn’t open a can of coke and I screamed ‘I’m dying’, I just really don’t know.
phantomofthe0prah: how do you set your eyebrow on fire
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dovecameroff: Some1 go out with me
dovecameroff: I’ll go out with you
dovecameroff: WHEN DID THIS WEBSITE GET SO SMOOTH
lovedovecameron: YOU LITERALLY JUST ASKED YOURSELF OUT WTF THIS WEBSITE IS NOT SMOOTH YOU JUST NEED COUNSELING
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
punkurie: *puts metaphor between cigarette* it’s a teeth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
zachsgay: i need a 1k selfie before i die
smegmad: guess you're gonna live forever then
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
beyonceish: today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
staff: Hail Hydra
fuzzykitty01: staff no
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
meladoodle: ladies laaaaadies, theres plenty of me to go around *detaches arm* thats for you Brenda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
frostedsammy: An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
spaceindavers: real trust is letting a cannibal give you oral
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sullllponk: so you’re telling me the only time someone does math on this fuckin website is to calculate a dick size
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
rorynottroy: "um" - the first horse to get ridden
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
qonorrhea: text posts are like children
you delete the ones that dont succeed
life-gets-bad-sometimes: what
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
radiohemmings: online friendships have prepared me for long distance relationships i am ready to date a boy in a touring band please deliver one to me asap
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
blankbae: we are the last generation whose baby photos weren’t taken on phones
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
blopta: everyone's talking about your paranoia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
gearstation: my roommate and their classmates are burning & sacrificing an animal cracker to pray for their greek final to be canceled
fennecface: so they're making a snakrifice
gearstation: WOW
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
castielsteenwolf: literally buy me a cat and i will seriously do anything you ask me to
anonumous asked: what if i bought you a cat and then asked you to eat the cat
castielsteenwolf: this website is so fucked up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
kidouyuuto: how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH
brigwife: English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple
French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme
*800 years of war*
fenrir-kin: "C’est une fucking pomme" is now my favourite phrase
right up there with Viva la pluto
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*A/N: GUYS HI*
~Lauren
