burawando: what if we had vision like bats, like: hey what do you think of my haircut
JSUT A FUCKIN SECOND LEMEM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT LOOKS GREAT HAROLD
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bombing: hey what's up
assassinboygregory: It's a movie about a old man turning his house into a hot air balloon
bombing: thanks
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thecheesyllama: So in my 3D class there's another kid named Roy, which is my name. Also in 3D class, we aren't allowed to listen to music.So I was talking to our professor and Roy walked by with earbuds in and the professor said "Roy, take those things out of your ears" and I took my hearing aids out of my ears and said "sorry".That is the greatest joke I have ever told and no one laughed and I honestly feel so under appreciated rn.Honestly that joke made being deaf completely worth it and I am an unappreciated comedic genius of my time.
thecheesyllama: I'm beginning to wonder if people laughed but I just couldn't hear them
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multipack: f is for friends who do stuff without you
alexkisu: u is for uninvited
stopthatitssilly: c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten
amyeatfeast: k is for krispy kreme yum
multipack: this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like
spoon-party-of-bombur: one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me
footmeetsface: DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA
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poodlepunk: both of my legs are asleep
slapdancing: Draw dicks on them
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mondegreener: you could literally make a post that says "kitchen utensils by zodiac sign" and i would reblog it and tag it with "fuck yeah spatula tho!!!!!!!!!"
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mondegreener: the signs as kitchen utensils:
Aries: cheese grater
Taurus: blow torch
Gemini: pizza slicer
Cancer: meat thermometer
Leo: cookie cutter
Virgo: corkscrew
Libra: ice cream scoop
Scorpio: bread knife
Sagittarius: spatula
Cancer: salt shaker
Aquarius: egg slicer
Pisces: nutcracker
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just-shower-thoughts: Since Chris Pratt is playing the lead in Jurassic World, they should've just named the movie Parks and Rex
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verylittlebird: a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. "is this your card?" the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
monobeartheater: what the fuck
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*'sup hoes, so i feel like i owe you losers an explanation as to why i haven't updated this in a year and basically its because my computer was a little bitch and it got a virus that it refused to get fixed no matter how many times i paid the dudes to do it so i basically got a new computer here i am i hope u enjoyed and vote and all goodnight*
-lauren
