oomshi: "babe" & “baby" creep me out if you wanna give me a pet name call me something cute like esteban julio ricardo montoya dela rosa ramirez
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snobyn: The goal is to become so important that people call my murder an assassination
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whoisthatstud: WOW DONT YOU JUST LOVE IT WHEN YOURE IN THE STORE AND THE VEGETABLE SECTION GETS MINI RAIN AND ITS JUST SO ADORABLE WOW I FUCKING LOVE THAT
johnlockinthetardiswithdestiel: AT THE GROCERY STORE WHERE I USED TO LIVE THEY WOULD PLAY THUNDERSTORM NOISES WHEN IT DID THAT
jennstarkid: WHY DID YOU LIVE IN A GROCERY STORE
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[A/N: Gif on the side]
methylbenzene: When i was little and my parents were driving id pretend there was a man/being/thing running alongside the car who had to follow certain rules like “he can only travel by jumping from streetlight to streetlight” or “he can only walk on fences”
i was so surprised to find out that other people did similar things
forktotoaster: HOLLY FUCK I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
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officialunitedstates: you wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a fire truck racing down your street. the siren grows louder and louder until the truck arrives at your house. “but…. but my house isn’t on fire” you think to yourself. you rush to your window only to see something… not human exit from the fire truck. it’s smokey the bear and he’s back for revenge. he knows you failed to properly put out that campfire last summer when you went camping with your friends. he knows
your face soon turns pale as you witness smokey adjust his cap and wipe the sweat from his brow. as you peer through the frosty window, he walks on over to the other side of his truck. you duck down, taking the opportunity to frantically look for a weapon. but it’s no use, smokey reappears and seems to look straight at you, his eyes stern and unforgiving. determined, he slowly approaches your front lawn, hose in hand. “ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES” he bellows. the ground begins to shake. a slight chill runs over your shoulders as you realize you are still in your pajamas, alone at your window. “SMOKEY IM SORRY IM SO SORRY SMOKEY” you yell at the top of your lungs as smokey carefully coats your mailbox in flames.
You wake up. “phew.. it was all just some sort of crazy dream” you say to yourself as you get a bowl of cereal. you go outside to pick up the paper from your front porch when you notice something a little strange about your mailbox at the end of your driveway. you drop your paper and frantically rush through the slick grass to your mailbox. CAN IT BE? you collapse into the morning dew in shock as you see it is completely charred. you begin to shake in terror as the realization sweeps over you. finally, you gather enough strength to pick yourself off of the ground. wait… has your shadow always been that big? you feel a large furry paw on the back of your shoulder….
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meladoodle: the nudes are leaking again? god damnit call the plumber mom
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imnotsoraven: *straight boy voice* not to sound GAY but i watched the Olympics and
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ruekuroha: what does being stoned feel like
haoujuudai: well theres two vastly different answers to this
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youwerelokidagain: It's hilarious if you switch the first letters of people names around omfg try it & say it our loud:
Tom Hiddleston - Hom Tiddleston
Martin Freeman - Fartin Mreeman
Benedict Cumberbatch - Cenedict Bumberbatch
Lee Pace - Pee Lace
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flylng: why is “fuck you” an insult like hell yea fuck me fuck me hard
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queer-punk: WE NEED FEMINISM BECAUSE WHEN LANCE ARMSTRONG GOT CANCER AND LOST A TESTICLE IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIS HEALTH AND HOW INSPIRATIONAL HE WAS BUT WHEN ANGELINA JOLIE GETS A DOUBLE MASTECTOMY TO PREVENT HERSELF FROM GETTING CANCER, IT’S ALL ABOUT HOW SHE WON’T BE A SEX SYMBOL ANYMORE AND HOW MEN ARE OFFENDED CAUSE SHE WON’T BE AN OBJECT FOR THEM
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auntmarie: doesn’t the term “staff member” make you laugh because those 2 words both mean penis
big-ricospizza: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
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2dcc: my teacher asked me why my eyes were red and I straight up told her that I was high. I didn’t want her to know I was crying over supernatural fanfiction in the bathroom before class started
fellatioutboy: i want to know who took time out of their day to replace “one direction fanfiction” with “supernatural fanfiction” as if that was less shameful
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sippinpurple: pole dancers are incredible like wow u could probably snap my neck w ur thighs and look fabulous while doing it i respect that
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doglets: If you are the older twin, call your little sibling a few times a day and be like “when I was your age” and then describe what you did 7 minutes ago
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alltimeboners: DO
NOT
SCREAM
DURING
THE
BANDS
MOST
EMOTIONAL
HEARTWRENCHING
ACOUSTIC
SONG
I WILL SHIT DOWN YOUR THROAT
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tylerchokely: i hate when babies cry like grow the fuck up and pay taxes
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*A/N: Hi guys so yes the thing has been put up now go do the thing u do that makes me ve ry happ y when u vot e i am tired byye*
~Lauren
