Sherlock Imagines

Hold On-Sherlock

Requested by
LokiHiddlesConrad

Warning: For those of you who feel uncomfortable about suicide don't read this one.

Loving and fighting,

Accusing, uniting

I can't imagine a world with you gone,

The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of.

I'd be so lost if you left me alone.

You and Sherlock had been dating for the past year. You had both been so happy together and so in love. Sherlock never really liked showing it too much though and sometimes that led into you both fighting about it. But as usual you'd make up. One day though, things took a different turn.
The previous night wasn't the best. You ran into a couple of people from your school when you were younger. And not just any of them.  The ones that had bullied you. At first you thought that maybe over the years thy had changed and would now be the nicest people in the world. But that idea faded quickly. They started saying hurtful things to you and things that made you question a lot. Somehow they knew that you were dating Sherlock and they said one thing that really hit you hard.

"I don't think Sherlock really loves you, y/n."  One of them said.

"Yes he does."  You said crossing your arms.

"How do you know that?"  The other asked. "Has he said that he loves you?" 

"Well, uh-"

"Does he show you the love you deserve?"  The first one interrupted you.

"Actually-"

"I don't think he does. But if you do then that's fine."  They said and smirked when they saw the look on your face.

You were on the verge of tears and just before they fell you stood up straight and walked away. You really weren't sure that Sherlock really loved you. You let tears drip down your face one by one not caring about the people who glanced at you. You made it home and went straight to your bedroom.
Over the course of the next few weeks the words of those bullies really came to mind almost everyday. You noticed how much Sherlock ignored you and he never showed you that he did love you. You went spiraling into a phase of depression and it was suffocating you. You started cutting yourself but you knew how to hide that you were so that Sherlock wouldn't find out. And he didn't. At least, not for a while.

You locked yourself in the bathroom,

Lying on the floor when I break through,

I pull you in to feel your heartbeat,

Can you hear me screaming,

"Please don't leave me!"

You couldn't handle any of it anymore. You decided that you would end it today. You walked to your bathroom slowly and shut the door, locking it. You pulled out the razor and shakily brought it to your wrist. You started cutting yourself, deeper than you'd ever done it before. You felt warm tears drip down your face as you did it. Blood ran down your arm and you closed your eyes. You slid down to the ground and dropped the razor next to you. You then jumped when your phone started ringing in your pocket. You pulled it out through the pain and answered.