Aries- Throw all your personal items at your car, hack your Facebook and announce all your actions to the worlds
Taurus- Put itching powder on all your clothes and casually continue to date you to see you suffer
Gemini- Give your computer a virus and throw deviled eggs at your house
Cancer- Call your freaking mom to tell you what a major disappointment you are
Leo- Threaten you with public humiliation and spend all the money in your bank account without thought
Virgo- Stalk you to understand what they did to make you cheat (but will decide you're just an asshole) and put peanut butter in your hard drive
Libra- Sell your information to a sketchy website and allow 14 year olds to use your information to buy wine coolers
Scorpio- Smiles and walks away *you go mysteriously missing 3 days later*
Sagittarius- leave and never looks back
Capricorn- Pretends that nothing happened, then tells all their friends you died in car accident
Aquarius- Texts you 90 times telling you what a loser you are, then blocks your number
Pisces- Stares at their wall for a day, wondering what they did wrong, then burns your house down and assumes the entire thing was just a dream
YOU ARE READING
Zodiac Signs and Scenarios
RandomI update once every century lol if a chapter title has a '~' at the end, that means I made it myself (and didn't just steal it from tumblr lmao) -please do not take anything in this book too personally. your sign does not define you, and astrology p...
