The Walking Dead Imagines (Requests OPEN)

[Carl Grimes] Goodnight, Love

PROMPT:
Carl finally works up the courage to read the goodbye letter you wrote him before passing.
[this one is based on a girl. So it's not gender neutral. I'm sorry. Request for a boy version if you want :)]

There are very few things that could break a man. Or rather, very few things that could break Carl Grimes.

When the young girl walked through the gates of the prison, Carl Grimes didn't expect to fall in love. In fact, he didn't think it was possible. He was wrong.

She was kind and caring. Despite going through hell to reach the Prison, she never ceased to be strong.

Carl had fallen for her instantly- and he wasn't sure how he would last in a world like this without her. Isn't it funny, it only takes a few weeks of knowing someone and you don't know how to picture an eternity without them.

When the prison was attacked and Carl thought he'd lost his little sister, she was there for him in a way that saved him. Every second of every day was easy because of her.

Alexandria was a gift. Carl was able to go on walks with her, eat dinner with her. Alexandria brought Y/n and Carl together.
And then it pulled them apart.

When the walls fell down in Alexandria, Carl and Y/n got split up, and it wasn't until it was over that he got the news. A letter, crunched in Y/n's bloody fists. Right before she had stopped herself from turning into a walker.

It had been days and weeks before Carl had even dared read it. He'd been broken for most of the time and it wasn't until Michonne encouraged him to read it that he even considered it.

It would bring him closure, she told him. It would make him come to terms with the situation, so he wouldn't have to spend the rest of his life trying to figure out what went wrong and what he could have done.
And so he decided to read it, hoping that he'd finally come to peace with the situation.

Dear Carl,
I was bit. I'm not sure if I'll make it out to say goodbye to you myself, or if anyone will. So will you promise me that you'll listen to every word I say? I want you to promise that you'll understand what's happened. If you understand, it'll hurt a little less.

I was outside when the walls fell and I wanted to find you. I left my house and got taken by a walker. There was a lot of struggling before I killed it, and when I thought I was in the clear, another came. It bit me on my hip, so please don't question whether I could have been saved. I couldn't.

I don't want to be saved. I don't want to be a walker. The only thing I really want is to know that you'll be okay. We were a pair, and I gotta know that you'll be alright without me. I personally, have no doubts that you'll grow old and live a happy life. This world can't stop you from being happy. Nothing can. Remember that. You just hold your head up high. You're better than all of this. I know you- and I know that you'll make it. I know.

This is where my story ends. I have a gun and I know what to do. I'm okay with it. Everything's still and quiet. I'm alright with what I've got to do.

We were suppose to experience life together. We were suppose to spend countless years sitting in an attic and debating over which comic issue was better. We were suppose to settle down and start living- but it's alright. We're still suppose to do that, you just gotta do it without me- and that's okay. You can. I want you to.

There'll come a time where all this confusing pain will make sense, and some day you'll be able to use it to make you stronger. There'll come a time where you won't hurt so much, and there'll be a time when you finally understand the key. Live every moment like it's your last. Treasure every second with the people you love. I have, and there is not one second with you that I regret. Channel all this pain into love for life. You live your life to the fullest, love.

I'm okay. Know that? I'm okay with what's happened. I'm at peace, and I'm at peace knowing that you've got a lovely long life ahead of you. You were all that ever mattered to me. You were everything I ever loved. I saw your beauty in the sunset, so that's why I sat up and watched it with you. I saw your beauty in the future, I saw your love in the present. I saw you in everything that I ever did, and that's why I was able to do the things that I was able to do, because I saw you with me.

So now it's your time. Think of me when you see the sunset. Think of me when you think of the past, but don't think of me when you think of the future. Move on. Even though it's hard, it's going to be alright. I want you to love as hard as you can and I want you to live as best as possible.

I love you Carl, God, so so much. You keep fighting. You keep living. You keep laughing.
Live your beautiful life,
Love Y/n.