Lethal Lovers

17: All I had left

Katniss's POV

Its been weeks since our day in the meadow. Me and Peeta have spent most of it together, watching films  he has even tried to teach me to bake although to no prevail. The times we do spend apart Peeta spends painting and I go off to hunt.

I have officially moved in now, all of my clothes and belongings are over here in Peeta's house now even Buttercup knows to come here now. Although I have my own things I still find myself wearing Peeta's clothes when we are just around the house, they are so much more comfy and they smell like him.

I've not been too good these past few days spending my time throwing up but of course Peeta being the gentleman he is spends his time holding my hair back. He really is a cutie, Haymitch is right, he always has been right, I could live a thousand lifetimes and I would never deserve my boy with the bread. 

I better get up. Peeta must already be downstairs as I am in bed alone. Is that? Mmmm cheese buns. Well at least I've found where Peeta is, he's in the kitchen baking.

I sit up in bed, that's when the nausea hits me ... Oh not again. I find myself charging out the room to the bathroom where I sit spewing my guts out for what seems like an age but I try to be quiet when doing so. I don't want Peeta to have to see me like this again if I can help it, he deserves a rest from it.

I get myself into the shower and find myself whistling Rue's Mockingjay tune. Oh I miss her and Prim, they were so alike in their actions it was scary, but I think that's what made me so close with Rue.

Life is hard without Prim but not a day goes by where I would ever regret volunteering for her as even if it was only a few months it was still more than I would have had if she had gone into the arena. She was so smart especially with how easily she was able to diagnose someone, it was a nifty trick of hers she had learnt from watching mother for all this years.  Prim would know what was up with me in an instant.

Oh what I would do to have her here with me now.

Wait ... Is that burning I can smell. I step out the shower and open the bathroom door. It is that's burning! I throw on some underwear and one of Peeta's tops and storm down the stairs.

"Peeta?" Why isn't he answering? I head straight into the kitchen and pull the now cremated buns out of the oven and throw the on the side. "Peeta where are you?"

That's when I see him. In the living room in his favourite chair, gripping the arms so tightly that his knuckles are white. "Peeta honey are you OK?"

"You! You're a mutt!" Oh no not now! He's managed over a month please not now, "You killed my family you mutt!"

"Peeta baby look at me this isn't real, I would never hurt your family." His eyes are glazed over and are not their bright gleaming blue like they ususally are.

His arms is against my neck in an instant forcing me backwards towards the wall, smashing my head against the television, "You're a mutt! A rotten stinking mutt and I hate you!"

My throat is an fire as I gasp for air feeling the room spinning even though I know that I myself  am not moving.

That's when I hear a screach. Buttercup had jumped at Peeta causing him to release his grip on me only to turn it to the cat. "Peeta please dont do this!" I can see his hands clenching around the poor cats neck, "Peeta I love you please!" He releases his grip on buttercup only for it to drop to the floor. His eyes have returned to their normal shade of blue and his muscles have relaxed its done, but now its my turn to release my anger.

"You monster Peeta! Buttercup was all I had left.. All I had left of her! And now I don't even have that! I have no single connections to Prim any more!" I feel the tears streaming down my face as I lose it at him my breathing still irregular as I try to get it back.

"Katn.." He tries to speak.

"Don't even bother you stay away from me you hear? Stay away!" And with that I storm out and run to Haymitch's. 

It becomes harder and harder to breathe the faster I run but I just had to get away. By the time I reach Haymitch's front door I can barely breathe. I manage to throw all my weight down on the handle to get it to open. "Haymitch!" My voice ropey as I try to get my breath.

"Whoah sweetheart take it easy" Haymitch comes rushing over to me.

"Keep ... Peeta .. Away." The room is spinning on my again, "help ... Me ... please!" I struggle between gasps to talk but as the last words leave my mouth I feel myself falling into Haymitch's arms.

****

Oooh did any of you guys see that coming?

I how you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoy writing it!

-Alannah xx