Just Another Boy:Joshler

•13•

Aiden
Trigger Warning: Mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts

I hastily wipe away any evidence of the tear tracks on my face as I make my way up the stairs to tell Josh dinner is ready. Quiet sobs grow louder as I approach our bedroom door. My mind runs down a mental checklist of where everything harmful was hidden, hoping that Josh hadn't found anything. The door handle rattles under my trembling hand as I pull the door open. Josh was barely visible in the dimly lit room, his sobs led me to him, his back pushed up against the wall and his knees as close to his chest as possible.
"What's wrong Joshie?" My voice was barely a murmur. His head picks up, his eyes are blood shot and his cheeks are raw from where the tears run down. I pull him onto my lap,
"Take your time J. okay." I can feel his breathing against my chest, quick and shallow.
"Ma-make it stop."
"Make what stop?" My face and voice laced with confusion as I look at him.
"The v-voices, the self hate, th-the self harm, the su-suicidal thoughts, please make it stop." His trembling hands and voice in perfect sync. My heart broke as he spoke, what if the therapist says no and it's too late? How much longer can this go on before he can't handle it anymore?
"We will Joshie, don't worry. It will get better soon, I promise. We will get you the help you need and deserve." We sit in silence for a little bit longer as his breaths start to even out and his hands begin to slow to a slight shake.
"I don't need help. I don't need someone to set me pointless goals that I will just lie about completing. I'm fine, just overreacting over something small that's all." By now he was pacing rather quickly.
"Josh you weren't 'overreacting', you have mental illnesses and that's okay, let us help you cope better and work your way towards happiness please." I start towards the door just as I open it I turn and say, "You have your first appointment tomorrow. Dinner is ready by the way." I honestly didn't expect Josh to come down after what had happened and was very shocked when he took his seat next to me at the table. Maybe tomorrow will go smoothly, one can only hope it does though.

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Word Count: 410 words