Tet Talks About Nothing

I'm Tired and Don't Know how to Move On (vent)

I'm crying so here's just a bunch of incoherent thoughts

I wish I could talk to people without it devolving into me over sharing
Or talking about how sad I am
I don't like talking about my sadness but I just can't keep things to myself

Even when I tried to take a break to improve my mental health and try to keep myself from pulling the Fucking trigger I just ended up making things worse

I don't know went to keep my mouth shut, I talk too much

My worst fear is that I'm bothering people whenever I talk to them
But now that I know that my worst fear was true I can't help but wonder what else could go so horribly wrong
And somehow it always gets worse

I feel so lonely and scared all the time and I want to cry

I wish people weren't so fed up with me

I don't like being yelled at

I feel like I'm a lost cause

Like I'm not worth fixing

I wish I could talk to the people who hurt me

I want so desperately to go crying to them and telling them I'm sorry when I didn't do anything
I want them to tell me it's ok and that it's over, and things can go back to the way they were

I just want closure
I want to know things for sure, even if I can never know

God I'm a mess