「 The Professor & I 」VOLUME II

(187) Fallacies

Lynn's POV

Quickly rolling into my room, I slammed the door behind me and locked it, denying James entry as I aimed to calm my distraught thoughts.

"Lynn, sweetie. I don't understand why you're so upset. Will you just let me in?" James pleaded as he politely knocked on the other side, curiously behaving almost in a starkly contrasting manner to his prior irrationality.

"Leave me alone, James. I just want to cool down," I replied adamantly and I could feel him fidgeting uneasily by the door as he seriously considered my appeal.

"Alright," James sighed reluctantly.

"You know where to find me," James' muffled Scottish voice accented through the timber between us before his footsteps unwillingly faded into the distance.

As James routinely headed off to ready the bar for the evening's rush, I sluggishly propelled myself to the bed and tediously transferred myself onto the edge. Simply leaving my lifeless legs to dangle limply over the side, I plopped my back onto the sheets, merely staring blankly at the ceiling as I let the afternoon replay itself in my mind.

Hating his choice of descriptors utilized, I bit my lips relentlessly as I heard James constantly discriminating an innocent evolved species.

The appalling words and thoughts flashed by on repeat, looping like a broken record desperate for attention. I shut my eyes tight, trying to organize them but in the midst, a tear strayed from the corner of my eye, dribbling down my face and onto the covers in a blink, yet it was not expectedly induced by reasons I once imagined.

Composing my emotions and feelings, it came to my realization that my distress arose purely from his blatant disrespect for mutants.

The unsettling disturbances ignited in my heart were actually triggered by his uncharacteristic insults towards the issue. Although definitely fanned by his unfair criticisms towards Kitty and Charles, his harsh comments came as a pang mostly because they blatantly unveiled the great extent in which I had absolutely not understood my partner.

Further pondering over the subject certainly illuminated more negligence on my part and the severe lack of effort to truly fathom anything beyond the surface in the past years, frankly highlighted the subconscious desires of my heart.

Taking for granted the happiness apart, I was enlightened of my laughable ignorance that our relationship was built upon grounds consisting of nothing else.

Surely, the glee and optimism he reintroduced into my life was unmistakably real and I am still utterly grateful for his assistance in pulling me out of that deep dark abyss, but the fact that I now recognized intercourse only represented my way to repay his kindness, it forthrightly indicated all the fallacies of our misconceived affinity.

The concrete reality that I had not been capable of confessing my deeds honestly to him, that even my exact appearance had been covertly masqueraded under countless bottles of hair dye and everything he knew of my apparently tragic past was a fictitious concoction invented precisely to conceal my implausible identity and underrate the immeasurable magnitude of the damage levied by the outrageous trauma, only provided additional pricks to my heart now wholly shredded and completely corrupted by its own secrets.

I reflected long and hard, brooding over my imprudence and immorality, as I attempted to recall if romantic love ever existed between us but it seemed, I found none.

He loved me, undoubtedly, but, very much on the contrary, my adoration was driven inherently by their similarities.

It became clear that it was essentially that familiar sense of security that landed me reliant upon his arms, that attribute of reminiscent benevolence that touched my heart and that sheer ability to cheer me up that made me dependent on the joy derivable. It became evident that everything I had experienced was sort of illusionary for I was just obliged and indebted, rather than in love.

Nonetheless, the special bond we shared was inevitably something dear to me and I selfishly still wanted to cherish and treasure it. Unfortunately, too many lies laid beneath its foundation and it would undeniably crumble the moment I revealed all the wobbly fabrications supporting it, regardless the benign intentions of coming clean, and it was the unadulterated pity that I had singlehandedly destroyed our extraordinary friendship which invited a brief spur of grief dominated by regret.

Reckoning it useless to lament, I tediously wrestled myself out of the kiddy suit and got myself dressed properly before proceeding down the road towards his workplace.

Carefully wheeling down the neighborhood's streets that were blanketed with grey skies on a miserably wet and cold summer's night, I made my way to the bistro like I normally do everyday.

The parking lot was strangely packed for the relatively early timing and weaving through the masses of messily arranged vehicles, I finally entered the tavern, witnessing the foreseeable crowd gathered on the cage fighting half overflowing past the border to my preferred side of the establishment. I swerved around them, ignoring the usual stares despite my umpteenth visit as I thrusted myself across to the far corner.

James promptly noticed my presence and immediately excused himself from the customers he was attending to. Strutting briskly over to me with an apologetic expression, he hurriedly crouched down and took my hands, conscientiously rubbing them for heat, just as I removed my outer woolen gloves.

"What's going on?" I investigated keenly as he meticulously moved to collect my coat.

"I'm raising the stakes tonight. I told you," James answered confidently albeit with a baffled expression as he worriedly scrutinized my equally puzzled face.

"Oh, right," I blurted, finally remembering the said occurrence.

Indeed, he had informed me probably just a couple of days ago that he would be altering the wagering odds, a common practice that had been ongoing from time to time since he began this betting business to ensure that it still generated profits, albeit in a fair manner, as he explained.

"Baby, listen. I really think we should talk," I muttered sheepishly, tugging on his arm to prevent him from standing up.

"I'm sorry, I flared up. I really am," James admitted remorsefully as he caressed my cheek in his warm palm that still showered me with immense safety, albeit now coupled with a considerable amount of shame.

"But I'm really busy right now. I'll get you dinner and we'd talk later, alright? I promise," James proposed earnestly, staring those blue eyes filled with genuine sincerity into mine, and I slowly nodded, thinking to grant myself extra time to formulate my thoughts and lines for the imperative announcement.

Pecking me tenderly on the forehead, James swiftly marched off to put away my parka and I habitually hoisted myself into the booth seat.

As I randomly adjusted my outfit to make myself comfortable in the secluded area James now specifically reserved for me, he punctually set down the fresh fruit salad, an obvious off-menu item he had meticulously prepared to accommodate my light diet, and set it down neatly on the small round table in front of me together with a dose of vodka.

Without a word, James scurried away and continued to mingle with the his perpetual stream of patrons while they readily cheered for the endlessly emerging contenders who had volunteered to be Logan's, or as they knew, the Wolverine's, opponent tonight.

The night gradually passed by as I silently observed James working diligently while I savoured my meal and beverage.

Upon consuming my greens, I sipped on the transparent spirit and everything seemed to go as forecasted. Operations ran smoothly, albeit hectically, for him and pangs of guilt ceaselessly hit me as I tried to coin a gentle and delicate approach to break him the news, until a peculiar girl suspiciously walked into the premises.

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Last chapter of the week guys! I hope you all have enjoyed the partially similar scenes I've so far included from X-Men 😌

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Have a great weekend! ❤❤