Bullshit

Chapter 12

I don't understand, I just dont understand anything anymore. Why would he do that to me? Why would he hit me, just because I hugged him? I didn't mean to make him feel bad, or upset. If anything, I wanted to comfort him, show him that I love and care for him whole heartidly. 

But no, apperantly I'm not allowed to do that, I'm not allowed to show the person that I love any affection.

Why is that? Because he has a girlfriend, he had a fucking skinny as a twig model who will gladly fuck him any day of the week!

I let out a loud cry into my pillow and punched the matress in a desperate hope to relieve some of the stress and pain that I was feeling. Of course it really did absolutely nothing for me. My chest still has that awful pain, my forearm still stings with his name written in my skin. No, the only thing that hitting the matress did was making the bed bounce slightly. 

But I guess I'm not like Louis in that way, I just can't punch things and hope that it makes things all better. 

A small sob excaped my lips and I got off of the bed, my cheek was hurting really badly and I figures that I should at least check it out. 

Very slowly I walked to the attatfhed bathroom. Moving my feet as though there was heavy weights holding them down and it took huge amounts of effort ust to move one off of the ground. 

Eventually I did make it to the bathroom, and boy did I wish that I hadn't of. There on my right cheek was a large round bruise just beneath my eye. Almost half of my face was covered with the ugly blue and purple colour, swelling beneath my eye and making it seem as though I was squinting. Bringing my finger up to touch it I let out a small yelp at the contact, Louis had one good arm. 

I gulped and turned away from the mirror, what am I doing anymore. Why am I even staying around to watch him make goo-goo eyes at his phone when he is texting Eleanor. Why am I letting him abuse me? 

A chuckle escaped my lips and I looked down at my arm, the one with Louis' name carved into it. I know excatly why I'm doing all of this.

I love him. 

And no matter how many times he hits me, or rejects me. I'm always going to feel the same about him. 

"Your such an idiot Harry." I told myself. "You keep chasing after something that will never be yours"

Standing up from the ground I decided that I should probably head into the kitchen and get a frosen bag of peas for my face or something. 

Very meakly I walked out of my room and into the kitchen, managing to avoid the living room where all the other boys were. I opened up the freazer and pulled out an ice bag, putting it to my face and letting out a sigh at the relief. 

I went to wal back into my room but Zayn was standing in the hallway, his arms crissed over his chest. 

"Harry, we all need to talk to you." he said, his tone rough and irritated. As if talking to me was the worst thing that he could possibly imagine. 

I nodded and turned around, there was no point in arguing or trying to get out of it, I very well knew that I was in no condition to fight anyone.Liam and Niall were sitting on the large love seat, looking up at me as I entered the room. Immediatly I noticed that Louis wasn't here.  A frown etched its way onto my face and I moved to sit down.

"Lets see the bruise." Liam comanded.

So Louis must have told them about him punching me, I never would have thought that he would.

I pulled the ice bag away from my face and showed them the horrible bruise. Niall and Liam cringed so I put it back on my face, its not like they could do anything about it now anyway.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I whispered, looking down at the floor. 

"Harry... we think that you need to take a break from the tour." Liam muttered, obviously trying not to sound harsh.

My eyes widened and I snapped my head up at Liam, staring at him before moving my gaze to Niall and Zayn, both who were avoiding my look. 

"W-what? You can't be serious!" I exclaimed.

''Not perminantly, just for a little while. Go home and take  breath for a while." Niall said softly.

"What about the tour?!" 

"We'll take turns filling in for your solos for a while" Zayn told me.

"You can't be serious! This band is all I have, after its gone I have nothing absolutely nothing!" I cried. 

I could feel tears building up in my eyes, they couldn't seriously be thinking about taking me out of the tour? Why would they do that? I thought that I was their friend.

"We aren't kicking you out of the band Harry. We just thought that youy need to go home and relax, recollect your thoughts for a little bit." Liam spoke softly. 

I gulped and let out a deep sigh, letting the ice bag drop to the floor and I covered my face with my hands. 

"WHat does Louis think?" I asked.

Niall and Liam looked at eachother nervously.

"It was his idea." Liam said.

Of course it was his idea, Louis probably wanted me as far away from him as possible.

"Fine." I said, standing up from the couch. "I'll go home for a while. Not because I want to, and not for you. But for Louis." 

I bgean walking to my room when I stopped in the hallway. 

"I'll pack my bags tonight and catch a plane tomorrow morning, hopefully I'll be gone before any of you walk up. Tell Louis I love him." I said quietly. 

Walking into my room I let the tears fall down my face. He wants me gone, he doesn't even want to be in the same country as me!

I fell onto the bed, more sobs of pain escpaing my lips.