Bullshit

Chapter 4

(Everything will be in Harrys Point of View unless it says otherwise :)

I was lying down on my bed just staring at the ceiling. Its the same thing I've been doing for the past 2 hours. After I had finished my cry-fest over Louis I had taken a lot of time to think. And its never good when I can think for a long time while I'm this depressed.

I figured that I need to get over Louis... but I know that will be impossible.  He's the only person I've been thinking about since X-factor. I won't be able to love anybody with the intesity that I love Louis. But that doesn't mean I won't try. Somehow I need to figure out a way to forget about him... but thats going to be difficult considering that I'm with him and the rest of the band all day every day until the tour ends. What if I leave for a little bit? If only we weren't in the middle of a tour. 

Its already 10:30 and the Liam thinks that I'm getting dressed, when really I'm still just in my black underwear. I don't feel like getting dressed and heading to another interveiw, where they wil ask the same broing questions and then we'll respond with the same rehersered answers that we do every time. 

Just then there was a loud pounding on my door. 

"Harry! Hurry up and get your ass dressed and out here! Now!" Zayn shouted.

I let out an annoyed grumble and got of the bed, quickly throwing on a pair of loose black jeans and Louis' hoodie. I looked in the mirror and cringed at what I saw staring back at me. There were deep dark bags under my eyes, showing I had barely slept last night, my hair was a complete mess and the hoodie had a stain on the front that surely people would notice. But I would never wash this hoodie... it would ruin the faint smell of Louis that was still on it. 

"Your pathetic." I growled at the reflection. "Your a pathetic, faggoty peice of shit." I said, much louder this time. "You can't even keep your fucking mouth shut! If you would have just SHUT UP he wouln't be avoiding you right now!He wouldn't be disguted by you!" I yelled at my relfection. 

Tears began pouring down my face, as soon as one rolled down my cheek another followed almost right away. A small sob escaped my lips and I fell onto my knees. I don't want to feel this way for the rest of my life, I wanted so badly to get over him. 

"Oh Harry..." A soft familiar voice muttered from the doorway. 

I snapped my head in that direction and saw Liam standing there, a concerned look on his face. I sniffed my nose and wiped the tears from my eyes. 

"How much of that did you see?" I asked in a whisper.

I didn't want him knowing how pathetic I was... he might tell Louis. And I don't want Louis to hate me even more then he already does, I don't want to give him another reason to avoid me forever. 

"We all heard it Haz." He said.

Instantly I glared at Liam. Only Louis was allowed to call me Haz, or Hazza. No body else. Louis was the last person to call me that.... at least until Liam said it, he took away something special....and there were barely any special things left between me and Louis.

"Don't call me that." I growled at him, clanching ym fists by my side. "Only Louis is allowed to call me that."

Liam let out a deep sigh, I could tell how frustrated he was about this whole thing. 

"Harry... you need to forget-"

"Shut up!" I cut him off. "Lets just go do this stupid interview."

With that I got back on my feet and rushed out of my room, making sure that I wiped all traces of crying from my eyes. 

As I walked into the living room they all looked at me, Niall with concern and Louis and Zayn with disgust. I let out a small pathetic whimper at the look Louis was giving me turned to look at the ground. 

"Im ready, lets go." I muttered. 

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" Niall asked.

I shook my head, giving him a silent 'no' and heading out the door, followed by everyone else. I didn't need to eat, but I need Louis.... I need to be perfect for him. 

The car ride to the talk show stage was very quiet, not a single sound was heard except the occasional cough and the rumbling of my hungry stomach. As soon as the car was parked I sprinted to the stage before everyone else.

Waiting there for us was suprisingly a man instead of a women. His hair was a dark brow, almost as dark as my own, it was styled into a small quiff. He had slight stuble growing on his chin and under his nose. He was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a rgrey button up shirt with a red tie. I bit my lip and looked down at me outfit, I looked like pure shit compared to him. He looked up and noticed me, he sent me a large smile. 

"Hi! My name is Micheal." he greeted walking over to me and shaking my hand. 

"Um hi... I'm Harry." I said.

The man let out a chuckle, I looked at him curiously.

"Everyone knows who you are Harry." He grinned, sending me a flirty wink.

My cheeks blushed a slight shade of pink, I don't like him,not at all. Its just been a long time since a guy has flirted with me. Even though he was very attractive, but my heart seemed set on Louis... even though Louis' heart wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

Speaking of the devil, the rest of the lads walked in surrounded by the body gaurds. Paul walked up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I know youe upset Harry, but please don't run off like that. You scared me half to death." He told me.

"Sorry." I whispered.

Paul shook his head and squeezed my shoulder lightly. 

"Don't be sorry, I get it." he smiled before leaving to watch the others. 

I let out a deep sigh and sat down on the blue couch that was set out for us, I really did not want to be here. After a while the rest of the boys sat down, somehow Louis ended up sitting next to me. And while Louis was trying to stop my self from shaking in nervosness. The man was fixing his tie and reading over the questions he was going to ask us. 

"And we're live in 3, 2....." The camera man held up one finger.

The interviewer sent a charming smile at the camera, showing off his bleach white teeth. 

"Hello, and welcome to E talk, my name is Micheal and today I'm lucky enough to be interviewing the five most famous boys in the world right now. One direction! Say hi lads!" He cheered.

Every one smiled at the camera and said hi or hey. Meanwhile the live audience was going crazy. 

 "So Louis, I'm just going to get straight to the point here. There have been rumors about an engagment?" He grinned, leaning forward and facing Louis. 

I bit my bottom lip hard and pressed my nail to my thigh to distract me from the pain in my chest.

"Well Micheal.... its true. I proposed and she said yes." Louis smiled, his eyes bright and happy.

I turned my head to the the ground so that nobody could see my face and the look of sadness on it. 

"What about Larry?!" A girl from the audience called.

Louis' happy expresion imediatly turned sour and he looked at the audience. 

"Larry was never real.... Louis is pefrectly happy with Eleanor, sorry if your disapointed." I said quietly before Louis could talk.

"But Harry! You said until you find the perfect girl that you have Louis. Who do you have now?" She asked.

I held the tears in and gave the girl a small smile.

"Nobody, not anymore." I whispered as I felt a tear roll down my face. 

"CUT TO COMMERCIAL!" Paul called. 

 Louis turned to me with a sharp glare on his face. 

"You're such a fuck up." He spat before going off of stage.

I let out a low whimper and burried my face into my hands.