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S3E17 'Adrian Pimento'

When an unstable detective (guest star Jason Mantzoukas) returns to the Nine-Nine after years undercover, Jake doesn't know what to make of him. Meanwhile, Charles' rebellious behavior pits him against the precinct's custodian, and Holt enlists Gina's help in directing a "fun and informational" video starring himself and Rosa.
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Charles: Yeah, now, this Turkmenistani dish is traditionally made from an animal that's been so overfed it can no longer stand.

Scully: Whoo. That's the dream.

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Marge: And you, Santiago, maybe the world would like to see that draft of a memo you wrote where you used T-H-E-I-R instead of T-H-E-R-E?

Amy: Oh, you sick son of a bitch.

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Rosa: Because I'm physically attracted to him.

Jake: And that's bad?

Rosa: I'm only attracted to creeps: the Vulture, the ShamWow guy, and when I was a kid, I had a major crush on the evil Gremlin.

Jake: Stripe? Are you crazy?

Rosa: Yeah, well I'm not gonna bone Gizmo.

Jake: I would.

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Charles: Why do you hate us so much?

Marge: I know you call me Mean Marge. Do you even know my last name? Hmm?

Scully: Mop-Bucket?

Sergeant Jeffords: Scully, don't guess.

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Adrian Pimento: Oh, look at that. A bunch of old family photos and personal belongings.

Jake: Pimento's mementos. I know you have a gun on me. I just couldn't resist the rhyme, sorry.

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Gina: You wanted to see me, sir?

Captain Holt: Yes, I have a special project for you.

Gina: Okay, but I'll have you know right now I only fly first class.

Captain Holt: I'm not flying you anywhere.

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Charles: Mean Marge won't clean up the stew. And also, she suspended our trash service.

Amy: What happened? You didn't grovel enough, did you?

Charles: Seriously, Amy, you're gonna ask Charles Boyle if he groveled enough? Come on!

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Captain Holt: I wanted a simple, straightforward video tour of the precinct, and you've added the one ingredient I didn't want: pizzazz.

Gina: Pizzazz is who I am. Would you tell the sky to stop being so blue?

Captain Holt: Yes. I wish it were tan.

Gina: What?

Captain Holt: It's my favorite color. It's no-nonsense.

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Captain Holt: So Detective Pimento didn't show up for work today. Any idea why?

Jake: Oh, yeah, I straight up drove him off. Big screw-up on my part. I'm trying this new thing where I just own my mistakes. I like it. Do you?

Captain Holt: I did. Until you bragged about it.

Jake: Yeah.

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Captain Holt: All right, he can work the B&E with you. Just make sure you take it easy.

Jake: Uh, sir, I was 20 minutes late for work today. I don't think you need to tell me about taking it easy.

Captain Holt: Are you bragging about being a bad employee?

Jake: No. Dismissed? Me.