Slasher X Reader

Chapter 25 - Beating Himself Up

Credit to EddieSkabettie

Jason

           I carefully move and shift her from leaning back against me to being in my arms. I slowly lift her not wanting her to nap on the floor. I take her up to the bedroom worried when she wakes up, she will hate me. I place her on the bed and go to move away. Her hand latches onto my shirt making me freeze. She turns to me and I see the marks on her neck forming. Forming perfectly for my fingers. I stare at her as she moves to the edge of the bed as though sensing me. How she could hug or even touch me I did not know. I was a horrible person for even laying a finger on her. 'You need to make it up to her. Apologize properly,' mother says her voice quiet in my mind.
          I should have listened to her screams to stop, mother always knew best. "I will make it to you. I will show you how sorry I am," I whisper to (y/n) slowly running my finger down her check. I didn't deserve her, she was loving a monster. I kneel next to her, needing her to forgive me. I'm a idiot, a fool, she should hit me. I hurt her. I hurt her and she did nothing but just love me. It's not okay, I'm a monster. I put my head onto the bed by her 'mother what do I do?' I plead not knowing what to do besides apologize but that's not enough. She needs more, she deserves more. She deserves an apology that's true and from the heart and makes her truly forgive what a damn idiot and jerk I was. 'That's for you to come up with my son. But you should think over the words you said. They might have hurt more than the action,' mother says making me freeze.
          (Y/n) shifts in bed making me freeze. 'Don't wake up please, you need to rest' I whisper in my head. She groans but just grabs my hand. I stare at the motion, I stare at our hands together. I'll make it up to her. If she hates me after that I'll try to understand. But I won't ever touch her when I'm pissed I should have walked away. I grab her hand and kiss it softly "I'll be better. Don't you worry I'll show you I'm sorry," I whisper pushing the hair out of her face. I look at the marks on her neck than down at my hand. 'But I can't forgive myself' I think clenching my hand into a fist. 'You have to, not now but soon. You won't be able to grow as a couple if you are holding onto hurting her. If she forgives you, forgive yourself. Just remember,' mother says as I run my fingers through her hair.
          I shake my head slowly. For once mother is not right. I can't and I won't forgive myself. I can't be a monster and I won't ever let myself be a monster again. Not around her, she cants ever get that side of me. She only will get the good, she won't see the monster unless I need to protect her up close. I want to just punch myself but I can't. If she founds out she would be pissed at me for hurting myself. I slowly let go of her hand not wanting to be the first thing she sees if she hates me. She holds tight to my hand so I stay there, I already hurt her, I won't do it again because I fear she hates me.

Micheal

          I lean against the wall staring at (y/n) who is watching some type of movie. She had a few more hours until she can sleep. I haven't left the same room as her. I couldn't, she needs me to make sure she does not fall asleep. It is my fault she is hurt. My fault I got over possessive and idiotic. I move to the kitchen watching her out of the corner of my eye grabbing another ice pack for her face. Going back to the living room I sit next to her on the couch and slowly put the ice pack on her forehead. I've been changing on where I ice. She looks at me winching "I'm sorry," I whisper sadly hating that I hurt her. She gives me a soft smile her eyes heavy probably from not being able to sleep. I look at the tv than back to her not able to stop checking on her.
          I stare at her as she watches her show. I had switched out the ice pack and where I was icing a few times. She was now fast asleep relishing in her ability to be able to sleep. I turn off the tv than slowly pick her up in my arms. She was already in pain from me, I was not gonna let her be in more pain if I could help it. Carrying her to bed I slowly lay her down, I let her go and grab the first ad kit. I had wrapped her hand earlier but it needed to be rewrapped because it got soiled from doing dishes. Carefully holding her arm I wrap it back up tight but not enough to cause pain. 'You deserve better. I'm selfish and I can't let you go. But I'll prove that I am sorry,' I think gently putting her hand on her stomach.
          She will know how sorry I am soon enough. She'll see how I much I love her. I'm a stupid idiot who needs to trust her better. She does not deserve my temper and will never get it again. She'll see it when I'm protecting her but no other time. "Michael," she whispers as I stare at her scared. Was she having a bad dream about me? She was not whimpering so that was a good sign she wasn't afraid of me. I'd probably try and get one of the others to kill me if I made her fear me. I can't have her fearing me.
          I look at her seeing the red welps from not just my hand but the table. I look at my hand than at her chin. It must really hurt, she even apologized why would she do that. It was my fault, I hurt her not the other way around. I didn't deserve her, I'm a horrible boyfriend and an even worse person. I need her forgiveness even if I can't forgive myself.