OC Reviews [CLOSED]

Artemis Moon

Submitted by: dustraptor

Reviewed by: thief_queen

--------------------

Original work

Name: Artemis Moon
Hmm, for some reason I'm not too fond of her last name. I guess because it seems like a double name...? Does that make sense? Like, a character named Onyx Black, for instance. Am I making any sense?

Plot: she lives in a highschool and is in fear of human SWAT forces coming for her (find out in backstory)

Age: 16

Race: Neko
I'm confused. What is this.

Background: she used to live in a community in the mountains which it was believed that the male was the dominant gender and the cheftian wanted a boy but when Artemis was born he grew angry and became abusive he used to be kind and caring for the most part but he became abusive and cruel but it all changed the day human SWAT forces arrived at the community and took everyone hostage and it was revealed that her father was also a terrorist and had helped plan a few attacks which caused him to be killed and her mother tried to attack and suffered the same fate she escaped after being taken hostage as well and the memory still haunts her till this day
What? I am so lost. This seems really dramatic though. Classic "All my family's dead" type of thing. Personally not a big fan.

Talents/skills: she can turn invisible very agile she can use magic to hide her tail and ears to blend in much more easily with everyone else and has very good eyesight and hearing
Invisible, agile, and a magic-wielder. She seems way too overpowered for a 16 year old, if not for any character.

Sexuality: lesbian
Oh neat.

Significant other: none

Appearance: blueish silver hair wears a grey hoodie and a light blue skirt she also has blue eyes and her ears and tail are a light blue
So... she must like blue huh.

Features: when her neko features are out her tail is rather bushy
I'm just confused on this whole Neko thing.

Habits:

- Cuddling up to her tail when sad
What?

- Her tail will swish back and forth when hyper or in a playful mood

- Teasing others not to be mean though

Self Confidence: 5-6/10 she can be confident in most cases but it can crumble quickly
ME TOO THOUGH.

Ruled by emotion she also heavily follows her gut and instincts she will often tell others "in this crazy world not everything can be solved by logic alone...our gut feeling actually can be more accurate so listen to it" while she WILL listen to logic she basically is a "screw logic" kind of person

Strength: she's very fast and stealthy and has very sharp instincts and gut senses

Weaknesses: she can get very emotional and can get hurt easily at times and can be clingy to others
Her weaknesses don't really balance out her strengths.

Constructive Criticism: Ok, before I start criticizing I'm gonna go ahead and say that if you don't want to listen to me, please don't lol. I am really not the best author to have submitted this form to because I don't understand this whole Neko(?) thing. It sounds like an anime thing, and I don't watch that. So this review might be inaccurate based on my lacking knowledge. (TBH it'll probably be lower than what it's supposed to be.)

Alright, with that out of the way, there's a few things I want to comment on. It's very basic and overused to have the parents dead, I'm not a fan of that. Also, I'm not too fond of her last name, it's kinda related to her first, it's a tad strange.

On another note, I don't like how overpowered she is. She can do so so much, and her weaknesses are mental weaknesses, not physical. I'd probably add in a few physical weaknesses, like her defense is bad or she's bad at fighting idk.

Also, everything's blue? I haven't yet seen a character who is born with unnatural additional body parts (wings, tails, etc.) who doesn't wear that color. Like, I guess I haven't seen a character with red wings, let's say, who doesn't wear red.

Intrigue: 64%, BUT THIS IS BECAUSE I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ANIME STUFF, I RECOMMEND SUBMITTING YOUR FORM TO SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN ANIME AND KNOWS MORE THAN I DO.