Catalyst (probably not going to update anymore, don't watch the show anymore)

Chapter 104

I need a fucking hit. I need a fucking hit. I need a fucking hit. I need a fucking hit. I NEED A FUCKING HIT.

My body ached, it felt like there were bugs crawling under my skin, and I couldn't focus on anything. All I could think about was how badly I needed a fucking hit of V-10.

I can't escape the Cortex; the team is watching me like hawks. They don't get it, I'm not going to try to kill myself again; this shit is what's keeping me here.

If they truly wanted me to be happy, they would let me have a hit. But they don't know where the V-10 is, only I know where it is so they can't take it from me.

I need it, I need it, I need it.

Inside my skull, my head pounded; aching the same way it did when I had to hold open the wormhole. It hurts, make it stop. Please God, make it stop!

Insects crawled inside of my skin, itching me, begging me to get more V-10. I just need one hit, I'll be fine after that. One hit won't make me lose control.

I need it, I need it, I FUCKING NEED IT!

"We finally get rid of Zoom," Joe sighed in the Cortex, "and there's another evil speedster."

Wally questioned, "Who is this guy, now?"

"I can help you with that!" Caitlin explained, taking her seat next to me, "I finally got the results back from the test that I ran on the husk that Barry gave me this morning, and it's weird because there's no traces of dark matter but there are traces of the Speedforce."

She pulled the file on Clariss onto the monitors around the lab. "And that's the husk from this speedster?" Joe questioned, gesturing to Clariss's photo.

"It appears so," she replied, "and his name is—"

"Edward Clariss," Barry cut her off, leaving a heavy pause over the room.

I sat in my chair fidgeting: taping my finger annoyingly against the arm and vigorously shaking my leg and foot. Fuck, I've got to get up and try to walk this off.

Jolting up from my chair, I paced around the back of the Cortex, doing Barry's thinking-hands, and my heart pounded inside my chest. "How do you already know that?" I asked, shooting my gaze at Barry. He stared back at me blankly, not ready to give me a concrete answer. "My lab, now," I commanded Barry.

He ran both of us into my lab, and Barry immediately noticed the liquor bottles on my desk. "Have you been drinking?" he asked, giving me a sad look.

"Just shut up," I snapped, and pulled up the video of Barry talking to Clariss onto my phone. "It's obvious this guy knows you. Do you want to tell me why that is?"

Barry rubbed his face and sighed, not answering me.

"Is this why you're acting so fucking weird? Trying to get Iris and Joe talking again, tricking all of us into dinner, because you're keeping some serious shit from us?" I snarled.

He looked away, and mumbled, "You're one to talk."

I slammed my phone against the ground, shattering it. "YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" I shook with anger, and then violently swung into unexplained sadness. "If you lie to me again, I will leave you out on the streets and you will never see me again." Tears rolled down my cheeks, even though I wasn't sad.